There are so many reasons why you shouldn’t snoop on your partner – but so many opportunities to try. Do not do it. I repeat: DO NOT SNOOP! Resist the temptation because snooping has no place in any functional relationship. But then things get funky and then you’re curious, even though you know you won’t find anything. So what’s the harm in looking? Just in case, right? But before you thumb through years of undeleted messages and try to hack into accounts, consider why you really should not snoop.
You are just one click away from breaking the trust
The second you violate the trust barrier, you can never go back. You questioning your trust in your partner is a terrible excuse. If there is not trust, then you shouldn’t be with them in the first place.
Snooping makes you untrustworthy
If… no, when they’ve figured out that you have snooped, they will make sure you never get that option again whether there is something being hidden or not. After all, why would they trust you if you don’t trust them?
If you go looking for trouble, you’ll find it
You find it – even if it isn’t actually there. You will use anything you find to justify your suspicion. Chances are you’ll misinterpret what you find, or get upset about his messages from 5 years ago before he even knew you.
You look insecure
While insecurity is not a fault nor a sin, insecurity isn’t an attractive attribute. It’s much better to discuss a concern with your partner before snooping. Because what happens when you do find something? What are you going to do? Tell them about it? Yeah right.
You could find something
So you find something… now what? Either you tell your SO you violated their privacy and looked through their phone and found something, or you don’t say anything, and you’re just mad all by yourself. Neither is a good situation for you to be in. Even if you were to drop hints or tell them about what you saw, chances are your partner will down play the encounter, then mostly likely call you psycho for doing that in the first place.
Everyone deserves privacy
You wouldn’t like it if your SO snooped through your phone. Yeah, maybe there is some communication with an old friend or summer fling on one or both ends, but all in all, if your partner wanted to be with a different person, they would be with a different person. If there is something more going on, you deserve to be told. You don’t have to snoop for information yourself.
It’s a gateway drug
So you go looking and you don’t find anything. Good for you. But what happens next time something comes up? You’re going to look again because last time was such a success. And it transitions from just messages to all forms of social media. It just becomes easier and easier to riffle through what you’ve mostly already riffled through.
Before you know it, you are just looking for reasons to check, then reasons to justify your checking. Which in return creates problems that were probably not even there in the first place. Concerns with your relationship should be discussed, not discovered. Talking it out will make you look less crazy, continue the trust, and I guarantee it will make your relationship stronger.