From The Side-Chick.

I’m really easy-going. Like, weirdly laid back. I’m the kind of person who is annoyed for five seconds and forgets about it the next day. This makes me easy to talk to, easy to be around, and, in some cases, I get the notion that it made me easy. You get my drift?

Side-chicks are the girls who have zero self-respect and are like one of the guys by day and the sexiest chick alive at night, right? We let tools walk all over us and don’t mind the booty calls. We see our fun buddy at a party and turn the other cheek when we’re ignored for a different girl. But at the next party, we turn our cheek right back around and let the same guy plant one on us.

Us side-chicks are—dare I say the word? — ‘sluts.’ The definition of a ‘slut’ goes something along the lines of having many casual “partners.” So how does a side-chick counter-attack and explain her seeming lack of self-respect?

I, collegiettes, once upon a time was an honorary side-chick. Friends with benefits? Unfortunately. The accidental ‘dirty mistress?’ I’m standing side-by-side with Meredith Grey, my friend. The “who gives two effs anyway?” outlook? Check-a-roo. But it’s about time I speak out and explain what was really going on in my head. Because there, absolutely, are always two sides to every story.

Dear boy who told me we had a “deeper connection” than the other girl, yet continued to take advantage of the fact that I never got upset when you ignored me every other chance meeting,

I didn’t care about the crappy way you treated me because I didn’t care about myself. I don’t blame you for getting the vibe that I didn’t care about an ‘us’, either. Your vibe was right; I didn’t.

Dear boy who I once saw as a close friend and suddenly became the girl you’d turn to when your relationship wasn’t satisfying you,

I didn’t care to end that friendship sooner because I didn’t care about myself. I don’t blame you for thinking it was OK to hit me up for more than just a pep talk and seeing my body as cake instead of my mind as one you used to turn to. I let you win the game too many times to make what was pure in my heart real to you. That was my fault.

Dear the rest of the boys who saw me as the “cool friend!” but “good kisser…” and also maybe a “slut,” thanks to unwarranted rumors,

I do blame myself for the way I was treated. And I thank you all for teaching me a very vital lesson in my life. When you don’t care about yourself, you attract people who don’t care about you, either. After a rough year that caused me to numb myself to not caring about anything, I genuinely stopped caring about myself. I couldn’t expect anyone, let alone a few silly boys who only had their eyes set on one thing, to care about me when I didn’t.

Side-chicks like me don’t want any drama. Side-chicks don’t want relationships for one reason or another, and whether that reason be because they only want to commit when it’s real or because they want to have a wild time in their college years, it’s nobody else’s concern. This side-chick realized that that life wasn’t for me because it attracted negative attention I never wanted.

Here’s what changed, and here’s what didn’t: I continue to have a laid back, come what may and shrug off the BS outlook. What changed, however, is that I now really care about myself. I care about my future and I care about who I am becoming. I can’t say that every side-chick’s story is the same as mine. But maybe, just maybe, you’ll cut that girl who’s turn is on Friday, a break.

• boys
• dating
• mistakes
• relationships
• side chick
• single