Love Lessons From an Amateur Relationship Specialist

Love. There are so many songs, movies, poems, paintings, and people who try and describe the magical-ness of this feeling. Nothing quite does it though. No one can exactly describe the way your heart feels, the way your perspective changes, or the way your mind always seems to be thinking of them. Love is a wild thing. So is heartbreak. It is also an indescribable feeling that only heals with time. Real love is hard, messy, and after it is over it is difficult to look back on the good, and the things learned. Those things are there though, because no one goes into a love, and comes out of it the same person.

My first love taught me more than I could ever learn from a classroom or a textbook. I learned (partially) how to get over my stubborn Taurus ways. When you truly love someone, you have to learn to compromise. You have to learn that sometimes you need to put that person first. It’s not always in the big things. Sometimes it’s just letting them pick a movie about sports that you know you’ll fall asleep to because they all end the same way, but you do it anyway because it makes them happy. It’s giving up the aux cord on a long drive. It’s sometimes going to Cafe Rio over Zupas because they are in desperate need of a sweet pork salad.

Real love is learning how to love unconditionally. Learning to love not just their high points, but also their lows. Not just tolerate them, not just pretend to care, but to truly love them. Love is about the bad days, the hard times, the mistakes, and all the rest of the stuff they don’t tell you about in fairytales. Everyone is human, including your significant other. It isn’t always going to be a Taylor Swift love song. I learned that even though it can be hard, it’s so important to love someone when they need love the most.

I also learned the true importance of communication. Relationships just don’t work out if two people can’t properly communicate. Real love shouldn’t be subtweets and passive aggressive games. You have to learn to use your words. As scary as it is, it makes life and love so much easier. I learned that so many problems or worries could be fixed just by talking through them.  

One of the most important things I learned from my first love, was how to be loved. As amazing as it is, it’s also terrifying. I always had wanted to be in love, but I could never let myself get to that point. I was scared to trust someone with parts of me that most people will never see. The thought of telling someone secrets that I would usually only tell my diary, terrified me. He showed me that there are people worth trusting. He was worth trusting. He showed me that people can unconditionally love every part of me, every secret, every mistake, every bad pun, and every tear. He showed me it’s okay to breakdown your walls and let yourself completely fall for someone. That’s what life is all about. What is life without love? The best love is genuine and unconditional. Although it’s over, I don’t regret it at all. Everything I learned from my first love will stick with me for the rest of my life. Although it isn’t the same as it once, the lessons will always be there, and so will the love.

Sources: 1, 2, 3