There’s only three things you need to know about me: I will always be the loudest person in the room, I’m half Southern and half Western, meaning I have an incredible amount of rugged individualism with a strong inclination towards succession at all times, and most importantly, I loved her first. Her family will be gone come August, and I will be the only person that has known her for longer than a year from then on. I have five years of friendship invested in her, and I promise you that no one will ever stand in between that, including you.
Don’t get me wrong, I like you- just don’t mess that up. Realize that I am her best friend, her mother, and her father wrapped into one person, and I will fulfill each and every role given to me. There are very few rules that will need to be followed, but they are important nonetheless. One: I never want to have to hold her head in my lap, as she cries about yet another one of your poor decisions. Two, I never want to hear about your lack of self-awareness or ingenuity. And three, I never want to catch that you have belittled her, or have made her feel less than the brilliant woman that she is. I’m not here to be a relationship mediator, and I won’t play helicopter best friend, but I am also not here to be your friend; though I may not always agree with her opinions, I will take my best friend’s side in everything.
This is the moment where I tell you that if you bend any of my rules, remember that my mama raised hell, and I am my mother’s child through and through. I loved her first, and don’t you break my heart if you utilize her innocence and naivety for your own selfish interests.
February 28th, 2018.
Needless to say, as with most first loves, my best friend is no longer with this past boyfriend. They fell apart in normal circumstances—spring semester was ending, summer was coming, and they were going separate directions. Following some gossip though, I learned in earlier August what her old fling had been up to, and I can only say that I wish I had sent this letter to him at some point.
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