Emma Watson recently described her relationship status as being ‘self partnered’ instead of single, and honestly we all need to start using this term. For me, ‘single’ has always had a negative connotation, as if you’re forced to be single. Sure, some people do want to be in a relationship but at the same time we should be putting ourselves first. Even if you’re with someone you can still be self-partnered. Ultimately, being self-partnered means putting yourself first, it means taking time for you. Being self-partnered means that you’re content and even empowered being on your own. Dating yourself is a long forgotten act that needs to be brought back. We’ve been told for so long that you can’t love anyone else without loving yourself, so why not try falling in love with yourself the way we do with other people?
I know this sounds ridiculous, but hear me out. Why can’t we take ourselves out, or get ready for us? When did doing something for ourselves become so foreign? Get yourself those flowers, go do a solo movie date, buy the expensive chocolates and wine. Let yourself indulge for you. Maybe the idea of wining and dining yourself is weird but that’s not entirely what I’m suggesting. Dating yourself means putting you first, that means listening to what you want to do, not just others. It means listening and communicating to yourself, this can be accomplished through simply thinking to yourself or even through journaling. Having the ability to vent to yourself is key when trying to raise self love.
I’ve seen so many men, women, and others degrade themselves because they don’t think they’re good enough for other people. But why can’t we just be good enough for ourselves? I’m aware that all of this may be becoming a bit repetitive, but I don’t know how else to express this. It’s the small stuff that helps our self-esteem, it’s the decisions that seem so insignificant at the time that makes the day better. It’s putting on that outfit because why not, it’s grabbing the iced coffee cause that’s what you need, taking time to cook for yourself, small, tiny decisions that make you feel so much better. It’s the seemingly insignificant decisions that echo through the rest of your day. If you continue paying attention to small decisions then bigger ones become so much better. As cliché as this will come off, we are all walking down the same path. Some people sprint, others take days to make a step, but as long as you keep moving, then any pace is ok.
So for the last month of 2019, I will not be upset for not having a partner, I will not complain about my time alone, I’m going to put myself first. Taking care of me is going to be a new priority.