Sooooo dating apps. Somehow, I just can’t get completely behind them. The idea of meeting a guy over the internet seems remote, almost impersonal, and I’d rather keep my interaction in person. Last week, though, something popped up on my Instagram feed: Bumble BFF. It grabbed my attention immediately because I know of Bumble, I had never heard of Bumble BFF. I clicked on the page, and to my delight I found an aesthetically pleasing account full of fashion-forward girls in cute locations. Upon further investigation, I discovered the following:
Bumble has three modes: Bumble Date (self-explanatory), Bumble Bizz (for business connections and networking), and Bumble BFF (basically like the dating version, but instead of looking for romance, you’re looking for friends). Could this be something that actually fosters friendships? I wondered. I had never heard of anyone doing this, but it seemed like a pretty viable idea. I decided to test it out.
I downloaded the app, and after taking a few casual swipes through Bumble Date just for the hell of it, I switched to BFF mode. Here’s what I found:
So first of all, swiping not for romance feels a little weird. In a culture that is so online-dating heavy, it’s perfectly normal for people to be seen swiping away, looking for a date, or a hookup, or whatever. But without this motive in mind, I kept finding myself wondering why I was even swiping. Secondly, it felt weird swiping away other girls. I’m a huge proponent of girl power and girls supporting girls, so the first time I swiped left on someone because at first glance I didn’t think we’d click as friends, I felt kind of bad. But I continued, vetting through profiles and looking for people who it seemed might have similar interests.
In the end, I didn’t spend enough time on the app to match with more than a handful of gal pals. Out of that handful, I only ended up corresponding with two or three. All of the conversations fizzled out, except for one super sweet girl who might be our success story here (stay tuned)!! My best guess as to why this is, is that Bumble encourages us to make the first move on guys, but there’s not much to incentivize us to make the first move towards a friend. With guys, we feel brave, like we’re finally in control here, and we don’t have to deal with all those creepy boys messaging us if we don’t message them first. But when it comes to friendships, I think we feel weird making the first move. At least personally, I felt like, “I’ve already got a group of girlfriends, why am I swiping through an app for more?”
All in all though, I think Bumble is actually a really great app (not spons lol). It totally encourages female empowerment, and if you choose to find all your relationships, romantic or not, on an app, then more power to ya! I think it’s great that modern technology has allowed us to connect with people that we might not have otherwise. And who knows, maybe the one girl I’m still chatting with will turn out to be my true Bumble Bestie!!
If I take one thing away from this whole experiment, though, it’s that we should be more open to making new friends in new ways. It’s easy to get stuck in the rut of just meeting new people through people who are already your people. That was a lot. What I mean is that it’s easy to make friends with people that your friends introduce you to. That’s how a ton of my own friendships have begun. But we shouldn’t be afraid to get out there and just introduce ourselves to new people, no matter what the setting. You never know what could happen –you might even end up like one of these girls, besties by your side, jumping off into the sunset.