“Calm down,” I said out loud to my reflection. My brown eyes stared back at me, as I over-analyzed every inch of my appearance. I pulled up Jason’s Tinder bio again, for reassurance. He looks tall, but I’ll wear my sandals just to be safe.
I jumped as my phone buzzed.
Anxiety started to build inside my stomach as I read, Here!
Normally, I would be turned off if my date didn’t come to my door. However, I didn’t want an absolute stranger knowing which apartment was mine. Stranger-danger is a real thing. I hurried and set my alarm for 11pm–a reminder to text my friend, Michelle and tell her I am still alive.
I took a deep breath and headed outside. My fingers fumbled through my purse until I felt my pepper spray. Just in case the bastard gets handsy.
My teeth gritted together as I walked outside and saw a small boy standing in front of his car. I look like his baby sitter.
“Hi, Valentine!” his high voice chirped.
I could almost hear nails scratching down a chalkboard after realizing how high his voice was. Afraid I might say something rude, I tried to fake a smile and hugged him back. I have never gone out with a boy I literally looked down at.
“What music do you like?” He asked, putting his car in drive.
I shrugged, trying to relax. “I like everything but screamo,” I said. “But I am in love with Taylor Swift.”
“Oh my God, I have her entire album,” He said. “Love Story should set the mood.”
Oh dear lord. This is not real.
“I love how long your legs are, I have always wanted a tall powerful women.”
I cleared my throat loudly, pushing back words that might scare this small boy. “Thank you,” I said, almost as if it were a question. I clasped my hands together, terrified he might try to hold one of them.
“This is kind of awkward, but I lost my job today. Do you mind if we just get ice cream rather than dinner?” He asked.
Relief washed over me. I can inhale my ice cream cone then pretend it made my stomach hurt so he can take me home. “That’s totally fine,” I said. Awkwardness dripped down my arms like sticky syrup, do I say sorry that he lost his job? Should I offer to pay? I hummed along to T- Swift as I debated if I was a terrible person or not.
“Oh, sorry.” He said, pulling out his phone. “My mom is calling.”
I smiled, “No worries.”
“Hi mom, I just picked Jen up.”
She knows about me?
“Oh, awesome! We will see you soon then.” He said, hanging up the phone.
The hell we will. I pulled my phone out and texted Michelle, Help!
“My mom said she was in the neighborhood and offered to buy our ice cream for us, isn’t that great?”
Sweat started to build on my forehead as I nodded silently. A burst of happiness washed over me as my phone started ringing. “Sorry, it’s my best friend.” I said, putting it on speaker.
“Michelle, you’re on speaker. What’s up?” I tried not to smile as she performed. She was so theatrical, I almost believed her when she said her arm was broken from falling down the stairs.
Never again, I thought to myself as I said goodbye to Jason, and ran up to Michelle’s apartment. I never knew awkward tears were a thing. I started laughing as they rolled down my cheeks.