I exhale slowly, closing my eyes and huddling under my covers. I was finally going to bed before 10:00pm on a school night. A cold breeze creeps through my open window and lingers on top of my blankets. My mind drifts off quicker than usual, swaying steadily like ocean waves.
I jump at the sound of my phone blaring on my side table. My best friend’s ringtone plays annoyingly. Ugh, maybe if I ignore her she will think I’m sleeping. The phone stops ringing for a few seconds, just to begin again. Angrily, I grab my phone and press it to my face. “What?” I say, a little too aggressively.
“Wow, someone’s a little grumpy,” Marry says. “Throw on some dark clothes, I need you.”
Marry has only said those words to me once before when we were in high school. Last time I obeyed her instructions we ended up toilet papering Jenny Jenkin’s house because she said something rude about Marry at cheer practice. Every muscle in my body told me to hang the phone up and to fall back asleep. My damn loyalty kicked in and before I knew it I was in all black and walking out front.
Her red jeep pulls up to the front of my apartments. “What are we vandalizing tonight?” I ask, closing the door behind me.
Marry turns down the radio, that was blaring Taylor Swift. “Danny cheated on me, so he’s dead.”
Anger boils inside me, “Ew, with who?”
“Her name’s Janet, I think. And she’s blonde and perfect.”
“We hate blonde and perfect girls,” I say, buckling my seat belt. I glance in the back seat and see toilet paper and shaving cream. I’ve always been against vandalism, but I’m more against cheaters. I crank the heat up to full blast on her car, trying to conserve as much heat as I can before we get to his house.
“Weren’t you supposed to turn on 800 South?” I ask, confused.
Marry shakes her head. “No, he just moved into a new house with some of his fraternity brothers’s.”
Great, now we are vandalizing a new house. I hope she remembers which house is the right one.
My stomach lurches as she rolls to a stop and shuts the lights off of her jeep. I hated doing stuff like this. I didn’t even enjoy doorbell-ditching as a child.
Cruel wind bites at my face as I run across Danny’s lawn. Thanks, Bipolar-Utah weather. I dive to the grass as one of the windows lights up. Great idea, Marry. Let’s go toilet paper a house full of frat guys at 10:30pm. I push the package of toilet paper out in front of me and slowly army crawl toward the closest tree. The grass feels wet underneath me, I hope it’s just cold.
By the time I finish one tree, I look behind me and see shaving cream decorating the entire drive way. I step toward the front bushes and freeze as the front porch light flicks on. Shit. I don’t dive into the bushes, or run toward Marry’s jeep, I just freeze. A dog barks, making me jump.
“They have a dog,” I hiss at Marry.
Silence.
I look behind me, Marry is gone. I see her flickering her jeep lights at me. I hate you. I hate you. Replays in my mind like a broken record.
The front door creaks open, causing my adrenalin to fill my muscles again. I drop the rolls of toilet paper and sprint toward the jeep. Images of attack German Shepherds fill my mind as I pant down the street. The high school track team did not prepare me for this shit. I hear another bark and pray it’s just a cruel joke my imagination is playing.
“Hey!” I hear a low voice call after me.
For some reason the best thing to come out of my mouth is, “You know why!” I see the jeep passenger door swing open and I hop in, closing the door barely before the small Pomeranian could sink its teeth into me.
“Drive!” I yell, as Marry peels out of the neighborhood.
We are almost to my house by the time my heart slows to a healthy rhythm. “When did he cheat on you?” I ask.
“Technically it happened three weeks ago when we were on a break and deciding whether to get back together or not.”
I pause while angry thoughts fly through my head. You dragged me out of bed… you two weren’t even exclusive… almost got bit by a damn pom-pom. Before I can get mad, I start laughing hysterically. “Did you hear what I yelled at him?”
Tears roll down Marry’s face while she laughs with me. “Yes, that wasn’t Danny’s house, I made a mistake.”