As a feminist, you must always be prepared for patronizing eye rolls, unsolicited judgment, and sentiments such as, “oh, you feminists are just too sensitive.” If you fight back, you’re just another dreaded “angry feminist.” However, if you don’t retaliate, you’re submitting to the patriarchy that you claim to stand against. Taking on the title of a feminist is no easy burden to bear, as it often leaves you in a position of constant vulnerability and lose-lose situations. Despite this, I made the decision long ago to take on the title, and to this day, I take it on proudly. I knew that such an identification would come with slandering via social media. I knew that such an identification might lead to contention. I knew that my feminism might lead me to be stereotyped in my daily life. But I didn’t care, I was willing to fight the strangers who might critique my belief system. What I was not prepared for, however, was the ridiculing I would receive from the people I loved the most: my own family.
I could have never anticipated the eye rolls I would receive when I told my mom and dad I was declaring a second major in Gender Studies. I could have never prepared myself for all the scoffs, sighs, and laughs, every time I shared feminist topic at the family dinner table. If someone would have told me that one day I would have to beg for support in my beliefs from my immediate family, I would have never believed them. It was strange, how willing my family was to laugh at something I was so passionate about, and how easily they threw out the insults of “crazy feminazi” and “bitter man-hater.”
While it seemed like all “fun and games” and innocent teasing to everyone else, I could not help but take it personally. Maybe I was the overly-sensitive feminist, they all claimed me to be. Maybe I did need to learn to take a joke. Or maybe, just maybe, people need to realize that my feminism is not a joke. My belief system was not meant to entertain. And for the record, my family members aren’t the only ones who needed such an epiphany.
Feminism is not just a girlish whim, a club of man-haters, or a bunch of over-sensitive PMS-y women. Feminism is an important and worthy movement addressing important and worthy causes. When you laugh at my feminism, you are not simply laughing at the infamous and radical bra-burning, armpit hair feminists, but are laughing at the individuals who fight for causes such as closing the wage gap, increasing women in power, reducing male suicide rates, abolishing rape culture, and reducing domestic abuse. These same people who giggle at the mere mentioning of feminism, or roll their eyes at gender equality, likely do not realize what exactly they are rolling their eyes at.
Regretfully, when people hear the word “feminist,” they immediately envision the radical feminist, the feminist who whines about manspreading and believes that lesbianism is the only solution to patriarchal society. As a result, us remaining feminists are left defending our name, assuring society that our priorities lie on much more important things than simply growing our armpit hair out. Yet despite our best efforts, I, and thousands of other feminists will continue to be laughed at, online and in-person, by strangers and by friends, behind our backs and to our faces.
While the average feminist can expect to be ridiculed by acquaintances, friends, and even family in her everyday life, it seems to be a harder pill to swallow when we see highly-visible celebrities and political figures joke at the feminist movement’s expense. When our friends poke fun at us for being “triggered,” or someone on social media casually makes a snide remark, it is relatively easy to handle. However, when a celebrity, who basks in the limelight, and holds a great amount of social power, denies your belief system, it only creates a norm that rejecting feminism is okay. If the big pop star, or the powerful politician, can make fun of feminism, it must be acceptable, it must be cool, right?
Though the Kelly Conways of the world still exist, though there will always be people who scoff at the mere word of Feminism, all we can do, as strong and valiant women, is continue, with unwavering determination, to fight for our rights, to fight for the rights of others, and most importantly fight for our movement. Go ahead, make your memes. Tell us you don’t need feminism. Make fun of us. All it does is fuel our fire and makes us stronger.