The worst feeling is looking in a mirror and feeling utterly lost. Your clothes feel wrong, your hair is atrocious, and the smile you’re giving yourself is completely fake. Whether you are disappointed with how you appear or you’re trying to be someone you aren’t, it is time to take a hard look at yourself and make a change. It’s time to rediscover yourself.
Pinpoint where you went wrong.
It takes a long time to admit things to yourself. Life is a constant game of pursuing happiness, and sometimes we trick ourselves into thinking we’re happy. In reality, we’re far from it. You need to pinpoint what has made you unhappy. A lot of times people simply realize they’re trying to be someone they aren’t. If you hate biology stop studying it. If you’re wearing a lot of pink because you think that’s what other people like – stop. You are living for yourself. Every moment should be more fufilling than the last one.
Find your strengths. Identity your weaknesses.
The first step in becoming a new version of yourself is to find your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses. So what if you absolutely suck at math? You’re super flexible and always get complimented in Yoga. People will love you regardless of your faults, and you need to learn to love yourself for them. You’re the only you in the universe. Own that.
Focus on your future.
Where do you see yourself in five years? Better yet, where don’t you see yourself in five years? Decide where you want to be in five years. Set a small goal and start reaching toward it. The journey to the outcome will change you in ways you wouldn’t expect. Whether you decide to pursue a career or move to a foreign country, make every day count.
Decide how you want to be perceived.
We often put pressure on ourselves about our appearance to others. People’s perception of you is generally incredibly impactful on your self-worth. Find a medium point where you feel comfortable with how people feel about you, but you’re also comfortable with yourself. Yes you should go to work polished and motivated, but you should also allow yourself to get up on table and bust a move every once in awhile.
Change your aesthetic.
A common misconception for people who are trying to figure out themselves is that they must start with a drastic change. While that certainly provides instant gratification, it could cause regret or a huge depletion in your bank account. Probably don’t run to your nearest H&M and drop a couple hundred on cheap clothes. The urge might be there, but fight it. You need to figure out how you’d like to look first. Don’t focus on the current trends. Think of an overall appearance that you like. Pinterest is great for this! Once you figure out how you’d like to look, how you feel comfortable looking, start purchasing clothing that fits the mold. If you don’t see yourself wearing it multiple times don’t pay for it. Once you start finding a style, you’ll likely find yourself gravitating toward similar things, which makes building a wardrobe around who you feel you are easier.
Surround yourself with people who accept you.
The worst mistake you can make during your collegiette years is surrounding yourself with people who bring you down. You will never live up to your full potential or feel completely happy if your friends are not being supportive. It’s easy to go back to your toxic friend, but I promise that if you cut them out of your life and surround yourself with people who will life you up, you will be so much happier. We often model ourselves after our friends, so if you don’t like who you are that new friend group could be the answer.
Don’t expect change to happen overnight.
You will constantly change over the course of your lifetime. What you enjoy now may not be what you enjoy in twenty years. That being said, it’s important to allow these changes to happen. Heading into your twenties uncomfortable with yourself and confused about your goals is incredibly flustering and could lead to many nights staring at your ceiling wondering what the hell? Luckily this is a point where you have the ability to experiment and figure yourself out. Embrace your inner Miley and don’t give anyone the time of day to bring you down. You do you girl.