Once upon a time, I would’ve bent over backwards not to be categorized as someone who is critical, as someone who dares to speak up against the majority — as a feminist. Growing up in a safe suburban area of Utah, surrounded by white Mormons, I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t come into contact with much injustice — or at least not the type of injustice society and the media told us was worth making a fuss about. I spent my days in junior high and high school just struggling to fit in. Sadly, that often meant giving into societal pressures and agreeing with harmful gender stereotypes (looking back I cringe when I think about all the times I laughed at a sexist joke — or worse, made one). Then I got to college. *cue calming harp music and heavenly spotlighting*
As one feminist (and inspiration for this article), Melissa Fabello, puts it:
“I joke with people that feminism has been like a born-again religion for me — that once I let it into my life, my entire perspective shifted in such a way that suddenly, everything made sense — and that I feel compelled to spread that gospel.”
I love this quote for so many reasons. For me, this quote perfectly encapsulated the moment a light bulb switched on in my head — okay, so maybe it wasn’t like a flip switching. It actually took a lot of work, and I’m still learning all the in’s and out’s of different feminist perspectives. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Basically, I went into college with a general idea of gender studies and feminism: politically correct fanatics that would jump down your throat at one pronoun misuse. Two classes later and some general requirements filled, I had flipped a 180 and decided on a gender studies major.
I fell in love with gender studies and feminism because it taught me to think critically. No — not the critical thinking you do when analyzing 12-page research paper or giving your peer obligatory two sentence feedback on their obviously last-minute essay– but thinking about real-world issues from a hyper-sensitive perspective. Sure, I had been asked to critically think about things before, but the beauty of feminism was that you could actively do this just by considering personal experiences. In all my 15 years of schooling, I had never been told that such intimate and personal background analysis could reveal such huge implications about how we interact in society.
When I started to be more self-critical of my assumptions and attitudes towards things, it was like a whole new world opened up. Suddenly unspoken guidelines that police how we behave became visible to me. I started to realize the system we live in is rigged, its structure influenced by labels and identities used to divide and separate people into groups. More importantly, I was able to look at how I behaved, how I reacted to comments, or how I was unresponsive to certain actions.
Finding feminism has allowed me to be more powerful in social settings, and in relationships, I no longer feel the need to settle. Now, I feel entitled to let someone I’m seeing know where I am coming from, let them know my needs, and let them know I expect to be respected and cared for just as much as they are. In a workplace setting, I no longer give in to the insidious commentary of “You should smile more!” instead opting for the response of “Why, do you have a funny joke?”. Even more importantly, I understand the value of my skill set and comprehension. Knowing fully that I am competent and important has helped me gain a confidence in my career field I never knew I needed.
Not only has feminism empowered me as a woman and enlightened me to the struggle presented by the dominant patriarchal ideology, it has also shined a light on the unfair expectations society places on men. Being more aware of this has pushed me to be mindful of the ways I force these “macho” expectations onto the men in my life.
Feminism has also allowed me to look at social injustice issues from a critical perspective. Contrary to popular belief, feminism is more than just women fighting for female representation, respect, and opportunity. Feminists look to create change wherever there is unfair privilege — meaning fighting racism, classism, ableism and any other type of oppression is a feminist agenda.
So what does this mean in a bigger context than just little old me having an “A-ha!” moment? Being an out feminist is more than label-claiming woke-ness — it’s a statement that I acknowledge the unfair advantage placed on some identities. Calling myself a feminist has opened up so many doors for me, and the more I learn, the more I am able to see how everyday feminism is practiced unknowingly. Being a feminist and “spreading the gospel of feminism” is starting the path towards normalization. In some sense or another, everyone is or should be a feminist! And calling yourself such should not be perceived as such an extreme political stance (although I acknowledge the fact that to some feminists, feminism is a very political identity.).
Ultimately, feminism has allowed me to acknowledge the fact that the influence of gender is everywhere. There are unfair playing fields in this world and being aware of them is the first step to correcting them. Feminism has empowered me to be more in control of my life even if that means just being aware of the things I can’t change. At the end of the day, I wish I had overcome the stigma of the “F word” so much sooner, and I’m working every day to show people how finding feminism could change their life, too.