Each Valentine’s season, partners jump at the opportunity to show their love and commitment to each other with gifts, date nights, and gushy social media posts. This year, I’m taking that time for myself- and not because I’m single. I’ve been in a long distance relationship with an amazing guy for almost 8 months now, but this Valentine’s season I’m dedicating to myself and not our relationship. For the next two weeks I’m taking on a single mindset. So far it’s been the best thing I could do not only for myself, but for our relationship.
At first, the idea of going on a break was terrifying. It felt like the relationship was going to fail because of it, since nothing was really wrong. Except it was. My life was chock full of everything from school to work to dance, and I was losing myself in the clutter of everyday life. With the new semester starting, I found commitments, training, and homework stacking up on my plate. I love having a schedule and filling my days with activities, so this was nothing new to me. Before my busy schedule commenced I had plenty of free time, and always devoted a bit of that time to my boyfriend. But as this semester started, my free time was shrinking, and the amount of time I was devoting to my boyfriend was the same- I was left with little to no time for myself.
Especially in college, this is something I knew that I wanted to avoid. College truly is a time to devote to yourself, defining your needs, wants, likes, dislikes, and passions. This does not mean, however, that you need to block people out. You find yourself along with your friends, significant others, family, coworkers, and any other important relationships you have in your life. But, making sure that you are thinking, acting, and devoting time and energy to your needs and happiness is vital in these crucial years of growth and discovery.
Obviously, every relationship is different, and you should be aware if the one that you are in is healthy and two-sided before anything else. If you have been feeling like your relationship lacks the magic it used to, you feel drained, or you find yourself more irritable than usual, you might want to consider taking a break for yourself. Relationships are amazing, but you often forget to focus on things other than your S/O. That’s why taking time off to focus on yourself every so often can remind you to continue prioritizing your mental health and happiness, all while still being a part of a fulfilling, rewarding, and loving relationship. Fall in love with yourself first.