It’s not that I hate you. It’s not that I wish I never knew you. I don’t regret all of our memories, in fact I look back on them still and chuckle. The thing is, I am growing and so are you, and it’s time for us to grow and blossom into individuals without each other.
Cutting people out of our lives isn’t easy, but sometimes it’s vital in order to prosper and move towards what makes us happy. Toxicity in any form of a relationship, romantic or platonic, bleeds into the very core of what brought people together in the first place. When it becomes hard to feel happy about yourself because of what someone does or says, it means that they have a distinct control over your self-worth. The moment someone close uses your vulnerability for selfish pleasure, it is time to recognize what they are capable of. When your goals and aspirations are polar and different-paced, it stresses on what a relationship can obtain. You change like everyone else, and sometimes you aren’t positively contributing to someone’s life. It’s hard to come to terms with a gradual metamorphosis of someone you care deeply about, and even yourself.
It’s not easy and it’s going to hurt. Many factors can fuel separation of friends and or partners. Once you realize that the relationship is poisoning an aspect of your life, you pull away. What does this mean? Erasing their number? Deleting them as a friend on social media? Glance away when passing? You don’t have to do any of that. You can subtly respect their lives and keep notice, but their actions and words no longer affect your path in life. But who do you call when you feel low? You feel empty and like a vital piece of your life is missing. As the days pass and the seasons change, you will feel brave and strong. You are confident in the person you have grown into without one individual. The things that dragged you down and broke your spirit have diminished into dust of the past.
I still see your posts, photos, and hear about you. I no longer feel mad or sad, but grateful. I am happy and so are you. The wounds have healed and I am whole, and from cutting you out, I learned how much I could love and appreciate myself. You were toxic to me and I was toxic to you. But look now, you don’t need me and I don’t need you ever again.