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Bitchiness Is Not Glamorous

While scrolling through your social media newsfeed, you have most likely stumbled across an internet meme that read “black as my soul” or “ why I hate everyone.” The soulless heartbreaker whose closet is stacked full with black clothing seems to be the internet’s most popular persona; being a woman who is apathetic, antisocial, and constantly enraged is modern day society’s latest trend. Though I have no idea where such a movement spawned from, what I do know is that it all needs to stop, like, now.

You may be rolling your eyes, telling yourself that a few tweets on the internet about dumping boys for sport is completely harmless, maybe even a joke. But I have seen this “innocent” internet fad creep into the conversation of my everyday life. Women around me have prided themselves on their “bitchiness” and being able to “not give two sh*ts” about hurting people’s feelings. These behaviors have become so popular that being called heartless is a compliment and saying “I hate everyone” is socially acceptable. And to be honest, I find it all rather perplexing. What made women feel as if anger and hate were there only means of power? Is this simply a result of society’s condescending nature towards the nice girl? Can a woman not be of power, strength, and independence and be kind simultaneously? Must we as womankind choose between societal influence or kindheartedness? 

It’s rather saddening that being polite is now looked upon as a weakness. In fact, I recall one specific incident where a woman advised me that I was much “too polite” and that I would “get eaten alive in this world.” I refuse to believe as a woman, or as a human, that there is a limit to how kind we can be. I am not supposing that all women should walk around with smiles permanently engraved in their faces, never showing anger, and being perfectly “well-behaved.” Rather I am only proposing that glamorizing hatred is not only absurd but detrimental. Sure, we all, women and men alike, are imperfect beings who are going to dislike certain people and things, but we shouldn’t center our lives, or our personalities, around those things.

One thing I particularly loathe about this “hate culture” amongst female internet users is the way we talk about other women, stating, “this is why I hate girls,” or “girls are snakes,” or “don’t trust females.” I am not sure if these women who post sentiments like, “I only hang out with boys because girls are drama,” really are proud that they don’t bond with their fellow women or if they simply trying to accommodate to the patriarchal society they live in. Regardless, these attitudes are not only completely tarnishing the values the feminist movement is trying to uphold, but are simply unkind. Why do we congratulate women for hating other women? I can’t speak for everyone, but I have never been impressed with these sentiments of “I hate girls.” Hating a gender, let alone your own gender, is no accomplishment in my eyes.

Feminism is not the only political movement that suffers as a result of this “black as my soul” culture. If we are to make apathy a commonality and an acceptable trait, we can only anticipate hate to prevail in our government and in our everyday lives. Movements of racial or religious equality will not be able to thrive either if we have such extensive apathy for the sufferings, the feelings, and the obstacles of other people. Accepting unkindness to the extent we have in our society, is the reason a man like Donald Trump reigns as our president. Though I am not supposing that we all accept such hate speech from our commander in chief, how can we possibility expect our nation’s leaders to be kind and accepting when we are promoting hatred as a desirable quality in our relationships, our friendships, and in our twitter followers?  We cannot demand respect from anyone if we are so willing to glamorize disrespect with our “I hate everyone” mentalities. 

Editor-in-chief of Her Campus Utah - Double major in English and Gender Studies - Lover of Oxford comma, hater of patriarchy. 
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