When people notice my plethora of Harry Potter bling, their first question is usually, “Oh, do you like Harry Potter?” It’s at this moment that my hands start to shake and I develop a little twitch in my left eye, but I manage to say in a falsely calm voice, “What? Oh, yeah, it’s pretty cool, I guess,” having once again successfully silenced the screeching voice of insanity in my head that really wants to let them know just how much I “like” Harry Potter. Anyway, whether you have a seizure-inducing obsession like me or are just invested at a normal human level, here are a few things you might be able to relate to if you’re a full-fledged Potterhead:
1. When you get let out of class/work, your instinct is to scream, “DOBBY IS FREE!”
2. You mutter, “My father will hear about this” every time someone disrespects you.
3. When there’s an awkward break in conversation, you fill the silence with, “So…how bout them Chudley Cannons?”
4. You meet a new person and try to figure out their House AND Patronus just by staring at them.
5. When people say, “he’s a keeper,” you answer with, “No, he’s a Beater,” and laugh hysterically while everyone else stares at you in alarm and low-key wonders if you’re in an abusive relationship.
6. Whenever the phrase “After all this time?” is spoken in casual conversation, you’re hit with a hard case of Honey Nut Feelios and have to fight the tears.
7. You see a snake and automatically start trying to communicate in Parseltongue, and are fully convinced that one of these days it is going to talk back.
When you’re as invested in this stuff as us Potterheads, Harry Potter references can Slytherin to any conversation. No, I’m Sirius, we always find a way. …I’ll just show myself out.