It’s the holiday season—the time for splurging on delicious treats, playing in the snow, and, of course, spending time with family. But let’s be honest here: it’s definitely not a fairytale. The holidays are stressful as hell. With huge crowds, hefty price tags, and weather-induced traffic jams, you’ve got enough on your mind, but all that’s nothing compared to the family dinners, complete with intense scrutiny of your life choices, as well as screaming kids and staunchly conservative elders.
They’re family, and you love them to death, but you have no idea how you’ll survive all of the madness that comes with having everyone in one place, and no matter how much you fantasize, you’re too old to ditch out by pulling a “Home Alone.” So when it’s time to put on your baggy sweater and take out the nose ring, here are a few tips to keep those family parties as holly-jolly and drama-free as possible.
1. Smile and nod.
When you hear the non-jokes about getting married and giving your parents grandchildren or get the same old “Oh, I wish you’d change your hair,” just smile and nod. The more you give in, the more they’ll push. Smile, nod, and don’t let them see if they’ve struck a nerve.
2. Be a suck up.
Offer to serve food or help with the cleanup, give compliments to the relative that’s hosting, or distract little kids while the adults are busy. Little things can prevent a big disaster, and your can-do attitude will definitely keep the focus off of your new tattoo.
3. Don’t pick a fight.
We all have that one relative who’s constantly saying things that are racist, sexist, or just completely ignorant and out of line, but the best thing to do is to try not to argue. There’s no way that you will change their mind, just like there’s no way they can change yours. Name-calling, scoffing, and acting annoyed will just fan the flames. If their comments are just too much to handle, state your peace with a polite, “Well actually…” and leave it at that. If worst comes to worse, excuse yourself and come back once the subject is over.
4. Tell a story.
Most of the time, family members just want to know what’s up in your life. If you stay quiet and aloof the whole time, you run the risk of being thought of as grumpy and uninvolved, and your dramatic aunt might take it the wrong way. Talk about what you’re doing in school, what your friends are up to, or the concert you went to last weekend. If you smile and laugh, as well as give information about your life without being asked, your family will leave thinking about how great you are and forget all about the argument you had with your grandma last Thanksgiving.
5. Don’t skip out on Dessert.
Trust me, you deserve it.
Family holidays can be stressful, but if you keep a positive attitude and actually try to get involved, you’ll find that they’re actually pretty fun, and you may have more in common with your relatives than you think. But if not, at least it won’t be a total disaster, and hey, collegiettes love free food.