Commitment. If you’re anything like me that word transforms your face into a little scowl, your eyebrows scrunch together and your body turn away from the sound. Then you realize you’re a grownup and that’s not the type of reaction you’re supposed to have, because “grownups” aren’t supposed to be afraid of such things. But let’s face it, commitment is scary. However, if I’m being honest I know that this fear of commitment has held me back from things in life that could’ve been great.
I wish I could blame it on some childhood memory I’ve tried to block out, but no such memory exists. My discontent for commitment simply stems from my inability to be decisive, and some deeper part of myself I don’t quite understand. Yet, since coming to college, I have had a deep realization that my fear of the idea hasn’t allowed me to grow as an individual. So I started working on it, facing the fear and growing as a person.
So, to anyone like me, here is some advice for committing to commitment:
Practice being decisive. Many of the times I have found myself floundering at the idea of having to commit to something is when there’s more than one option. Even ordering food becomes an ordeal. Cheesecake Factory? Don’t even think about it with me. I’ll take an hour to read that novel length menu. Too many choices. This might be true, but what an excellent place to start.
Start with the little things. Commitment doesn’t just have to apply to relationships and large life decisions. You can commit to the simplest of things, such as lunch plans. Or what movie to watch. Once you start committing to the little details in life, the larger one will start to feel not as large.
Don’t settle BUT don’t set too high of expectations. Go for what you want in life. But remember, especially when it comes to establishing relationships: people are just people. You’re human, I’m human, he’s human, it’s human, and we’re all just trying to do the best we can. Let that be enough.
Don’t be afraid of what you’ll “miss” out on. Have you ever committed to a decision and then wondered, “What am I missing out on because I’m here?” Well, stop wondering that. LIVE IN THE MOMENT. LIVE IN THE NOW. Be confident that the decision you have made is the right one.
Be confident in your commitments. I know it’s hard. Especially when it comes to relationships. But confidence can change the whole game, and the optimism associated with it can change any perspective.
So next time you’re faced with a decision regarding commitment, don’t be afraid to make the jump and be confident you’re in for an adventure!