Let’s be real. First dates are awkward. Like, you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into. Who is this person? Not just what they look like because, let’s be real, a whole dinner date can’t be spent staring at his face. Unless it’s Zac Efron or Nick Jonas.
And if you go on a first date and you two end up deciding wanting some grub, you need to be cautious AF because you don’t want to ruin your $30 lipstick and end up looking like the joker or just end up embarrassing yourself in general.
Here are my suggested foods that you should stray away from just for your own good.
Baby girl, don’t volunteer yourself for this disaster. Burritos are just messy as Lindsay Lohan’s driving record. Not only are these lil’ bread packages filthy but they also contain beans and rice. Don’t play like you know that won’t phase you later.
2. Spaghetti and Meatballs
Do not order spaghetti. I repeat do not order spaghetti. This is your first date and we guarantee that your date will not turn out like lady and the tramps because 1) Y’all aren’t dogs. 2) It’s very unlikely you and your date will magically slurp up the same noodle and ya both end up making out. Spaghetti is just messy and its red sauce is notorious for splattering. Let’s avoid awkward red stains, yeah?
Do we have to explain this out? Like with all real honesty, just wait until the third date to break it out. Or just don’t eat it. Don’t eat it in the missionary position, don’t eat it standing up, don’t eat it sitting down, just don’t do it, OK, promise?
4. Fried Chicken
Honey. You need to avoid that thick thigh. Oily food is not your friend on that date. By the end of your meal you’ll look like a slimy slug and that’s the last thing you need right now.
Burgers are great. But dem’ sesame seed buns ain’t meant for your sweets buns. Don’t embarrass yourself trying to stuff that Big Mac down your throat; you’ll most likely get ketchup and mustard on your blouse. Rule of thumb, just don’t order something that is bigger than your mouth.
6. Gooey desserts
You will make a mess of yourself. Desserts with frosting and custards will 10/10 get on your face and you’ll look like a weirdo. Avoid that unless you think you can manage.
7. Anything with Onions and Garlic
Do we have to explain this one too? Unless you’re trying to ward off vampires let’s not chow on anything garlic-y or onion-y. We want our breath to be minty fresh not post gym armpit.
8. Leafy Anything
You want to impress your date with your good looks and great personality not with green teeth.
Put that lobster away. You don’t need to smell like the Pacific Ocean the rest of the night. You know how embarrassing that is?
Soup is just as bad as ordering spaghetti. You know you’ll be a hot mess slurping that clam chowder up. Just don’t even bother.
Or, roll with it. You do you and you be you. You want that pasta? Do it. We’re offering the best advice so you can avoid those spills and focus on having fun without worrying about literally everything that goes on during a first day. Eat up, babes.