I’m sure many of us at one time or another has struggled living up to the labels that society deemed for us the moment we were born. To be considered “beautiful” we must look, act, dress and present ourselves in a certain way. It can be hard to go through life that way but it’s even harder to realize that you don’t know what living life without those added pressures feels like.
I’m not immune to this feeling. But I also struggle with another added perception, not being black enough.
Dating back to elementary school I remember being called an “oreo” and kids asking me why I talk “white.” Whatever that means. I never knew how to respond to those questions because they are essentially asking me, “why are you being yourself?” I never thought that the way I acted or presented myself was out of the norm, but the fact that kids asked me these questions is even more troublesome when I reflect on those times.
The questioning didn’t end after fifth grade. The next round of interrogation consisted of people touching my hair with the age old phrase “what are you?” following. Again, how do I answer that? I am me…
I identify as being African American. It’s always interesting to me why people want to know how I label myself. What people don’t understand is not one personality and look belongs to one race. I always feel sad for the people that think I can’t possibly be black because I speak educated and carry myself in a way they haven’t seen depicted on television. Because I have a lighter skin tone and longer hair I can’t possibly be just black. But I am. Sure there are various other ethnicities in my family but that shouldn’t matter.
I am proud of who I am. No, I don’t feel uncomfortable if I am the only black person in the room. No, you can’t touch my hair, im not an animal. No, I’m not going to take your “you are so pretty for a black girl” as a compliment. No, neither of my parents are white.
Black is beautiful and it comes in many shades, sizes and hair textures. If people opened their minds past the skewed reality that has been taught to them, they might realize how diverse many different ethnicities are.
Now, since I have grown not only into myself, but as a person, these questions don’t bother me. Embrace who you are, and expel the labels that may accompany that. If it makes people uncomfortable that’s okay. They’ll learn to adapt to the way you are, and if they don’t you can just teach them.
HCXOXO,
Imani Taylor