Maybe it’s the girl you know who’s nice to your face before trash talking you to everyone she knows. Or maybe it’s the girl who acts sweet to you because she wants to hook up with your best guy friend. As women, it seems we all have to deal with frenemies at some point. Are they friends? Are they enemies?
I have a frenemy. She’s been there for me through some rough times and I’ll always respect her for that. However, she has always been super competitive and always tries to prove (to me and the rest of the world) how much smarter, prettier, happier, and more successful than me she is. I played the game for a while. I competed with my frenemy, tried to make her jealous, even resorted to trying to show her that we’re equals. I don’t think anybody is superior to anyone else. My efforts have always proved worthless; she’ll always think she’s better than me.
Why do women do this? Can’t friends just be…well, friends? Eventually I took the high road and distanced myself from my frenemy long ago, but I’m beginning to notice that many of my friends have frenemies too—usually they’re energy-sucking negative influences. Ladies, if you’re letting frenemies bring you down, take advantage of you, or make you feel inferior, stop! You deserve better!
Some frenemies are not terrible people. Some people have insecurities and feel the need to bring other people down to feel better about themselves. If you have friends like this, rationalize with them. Friends can only bring drama into your life if you let them. If you suspect they’re a frenemy, let them know how you feel. If you can’t be honest and civil to each other, you may need to think about ending your friendship. We all deserve friends who support us and give us unconditional love, not two faced frenemies just waiting to watch us fail.