Who's Your Sugar Daddy?

We could all use some extra cash, but is having a “sugar daddy” the best way to get it? For most people it probably seems a bit crazy, but for some it might work, and in fact it actually does. Although this whole concept has been getting a lot of attention recently, it has actually been  around for quite some time. Obviously sugar daddies have existed since the dawn of gold digging, but the most popular site to find one, Seeking Arrangements, was founded in 2006. If these types of relationships are still around, and perhaps more popular than ever, something must be working. The question is are you sugar baby material?

First, let me give you the rundown on what these websites entail. Like I mentioned, Seeking Arrangement, is the most used website for finding sugar daddies or babies with currently over 10 million users. According to the website, it’s all about “The Sugar Lifestyle” and setting pretenses so both parties get exactly what the want out of the relationship. Brandon Wade, the founder of Seeking Arrangement, says “romantic relationships can only work if two people agree on what they expect, and what they can give and receive from each other,” as he compares successful relationships to a business agreement.

Other websites that offer similar services include Sugar Daddy Meet, one strictly for straight sugar daddy-baby relationships, Find Rich Guys, this one might be a little sketch, Sugardaddie.com, which lets you browse potential candidates before signing up, and Let’s Talk Sugar, where fellow sugar babies can bond over their unconventional relationships. Those are just to name a few, I’m sure there are many more and probably some that are a little less cleaned up.

At this point, we are all left wondering how successful can these relationships actually be? After doing a little digging, I have found that it all depends on how the terms are defined at the beginning of the relationship. Users that say up front what they are looking for, tend to have more success with filtering out those who won’t be able to give them what they want, and pursuing relationships with those who can. Melanie Berliet, who wrote about her experience as a sugar baby for Vanity Fair, testified to her experience as unsuccessful as she “finally succumbed to [her] inability to fabricate feelings.” Berliet, like many others, couldn’t go through with any of her matches past the first date. Going into the experience with goals (and boundaries) is the only way to get what you want and maintain your values.

On the other hand, one success story that I came across was that of a 32 year old sugar baby who was interviewed for Refinery29. She entered the world of arrangements treating it as a job where she could network, travel, and have her bills paid in return for solely her companionship, and nothing else. This lucky sugar baby has been making up to $5,000 a month from her multiple sugar daddies. It is possible to get what you want out of these relationships without having to compromise your beliefs. However, this lifestyle is definitely not for everyone. Some people may be able to have a transactional based relationship such as these, while others may want something more conventional.

Now that we know that these relationships can actually work, are they moral? Are these sites objectifying women as a commodity? Are they exploiting the idea that women can be purchased? Or are they empowering women to go after what they want? Does having a sugar daddy exemplify a women’s ability to find wealth and success in a relationship? It’s funny how something can seem both misogynistic and progressive at the same time. Either way, the choice is yours to support and partake in the sugar lifestyle or not.