In case you have been living under a rock for the past 6 months or more likely, don’t spend an unhealthy amount of time on the internet, you have probably heard of the recycled word/new internet sensation: TRASH.
Use it in a sentence you ask?
“You’re being trash.”
“This crepe is trash, is it even cooked?”
“Jack broke up with Allison over text. TRASH.”
*wakes up late and misses class “I am Trash.”
When someone continuously acts like trash or participates in trash activities, you can refer to them as a GARBAGE PAIL KID.
If you weren’t alive in the 90’s or perhaps your mom kept you swaddled in turtle neck sweaters that covered your eyes, a Garbage Pail Kid looks like this:
and this:
If you are between the ages of 18-31, CONGRATULATIONS, you probably qualify as a Garbage Pail Kid! You might be sitting at home, procrastinating work, half-watching The Real Housewives, half-reading this article and thinking “Well… What if I don’t want to be a Garbage Pail Kid?!” Don’t worry! We have created a fully comprehensive guide on how to survive life and even sometimes succeed as a modern day Garbage Pail Kid.
Lets get started,
Don’t: Be a social smoker. We’re not your mom, we’re just keeping it real.
Do: When on Hippy Hill follow the rule: take a bite, wait 30 minutes and then eat the rest.
Don’t: Be afraid to pull as many all-nighters as you can and not die. You’ll sleep when you’re dead.
Do: Know your limits. It’s fun to let loose but it’s not fun to wake up the next morning feeling like you got hit by a bus, revived, and then hit by another bus.
Do: Understand that it’s called a one night stand for a reason. I too, wish life was one giant Rom-Com but if you expect your one night stand to develop into a one night we’ll be standing next to each other in a chapel, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
Don’t: Text your exes when you’re drunk. Or lonely. Or thinking about that one time you had a really special date and they said they loved you. They’re trash. You don’t text the trash in your kitchen when you’re sad, so don’t text the trash from your past.
Do: Know when your uber driver wants you and your drunk friends to get out of his car. He will probably do one of the following: stop the car, turn the music from full blast to completely off, or say something like “Have fun girls…”
Don’t: Fall asleep at your one night stand’s house. It will never not be awkward when you wake up and you can’t find your way out so they have to show you.
Do: Download the find my friends app before going to any bar, festival or place where there will be a lot of people. Since you are trash, you will lose your friends no matter how hard you try not to…if you have any to begin with…
Do: Make sure your bank account is not set-up to overdraft. Its embarrassing to get your card declined at Starbucks but it’s gonna BE REAL AWKWARD begging your bank to reverse $300 in overdraft fees.
Don’t: Do your laundry every week. This is a huge waste of your valuable quarters which could be used on those mini alcohol bottles that cost about $1.78.
Okay, so theres probably a lot more tips we could give you but we’re trash, it’s almost midnight and we’re over it. If nothing else, just remember, you are a trash CAN not a trash CANNOT.