While February is the month of love, we often focus on giving love and showing our loves to other. This Valentine’s Day show love for yourself! Here are some quick tips that you can do in your daily life to build your self love and self esteem. Remember that the one relationship that is most important, is the one that you have with yourself!
Love Your Mind: Practice Mindfulness
The mind is the center of all things. So, you should practice positive thoughts and ideas! While not only doing positive self talk to yourself, also practice Mindfulness. Mindfulness is being present in that moment. Distancing yourself from your ‘inner voice’, letting thoughts and emotions come and ago without reacting to them. Remember that you are not your thoughts nor are anyone’s thoughts who you are. Practice letting thoughts pass you by and you will be able to let negative ideas and self-doubt pass by without bonding yourself to the thoughts.
Get to Know You
Many of us fear being alone, scared to be viewed as antisocial or an outsider, worried what people will think of us being by ourselves, but learn to use this time as a tool. Moments of introspection and meditation will give you mental strength to review and learn who you are. You will have one person who will be with you your whole life, that’s you. You want to be able to be in your own company and not be socially dependent. Now, no man is an Island, but you can’t pour from an empty cup. Alone time is the perfect time to reaffirm yourself with positive thinking and make a list of all the things you like about yourself and what you are grateful for.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Social Media is the treacherous trap that we all fall into. You start off just merely scrolling to check up on your friends, and then at some point comparison starts to worm its way in. You began to think what you like and what you don’t have. You begin to think, “Why am I still at this place in my life”?
Well (like my mom says) stop that! Stop it! Don’t feed into those thoughts and behaviors! People on social media only show you the good things. The accomplishments, the parties, the awards, the rewards. They do not show the struggle, depression, loneliness, uncertainty, failure. Everyone is human, and everyone goes through setbacks and challenges. No one is truly happy all the time, because life happens. A way if you can’t stop yourself from that is a thing call thought stopping. Simply with a rubber band on your wrist, pop yourself with it anytime a negative or self comparing thought comes in, and replace it with a positive thought. Soon your brain will automatically connect the pain of the band and negative thoughts and change before you can pop yourself. Remember you are enough, and your life is at place that you need to be right now.
Find your gift in the day
Taking a tip from my Grandma, (props to my grandma Jackie for this one!) find that one special thing that happen to you that day, and treasure it like a gift. We all get small, sometimes unnoticeable gifts in a day. Whether that be when you go to the gym, a treadmill opened up just as you arrived, or you get that article or assignment you pitched for, or Netflix now has your favorite T.V. or movie now! (Still waiting for the Mindy Project) We often get caught up at the “big” negative stuff that happens in a day. Or what did not happen in the day, we don’t acknowledge or give thanks to what did go right. Its surprising once you are happy on these small and sometimes irrelevant things how that livens your spirits and helps you put into the practice of finding good in your day and the negative things won’t hurt as bad.
Have Patience with Yourself
We often look at how far we have to go and not how far we’ve come. In a world where we are focus on the next, and the up and coming, and how to get rid of the flaws we still have. We forget to acknowledge the growth we have made. Whether you’re a person with social anxiety, and 6 months ago you couldn’t talk to people easy but now, with practice and motivation, you can manage simple conversations with individuals. If you are someone who avoids conflict and problems, you can now have respectful conversations with individuals who may have offend or did something to you that you may not have said anything to before. Everything ( no matter how cheesy the expression is) takes time. Change happens but not immediately. Change is like an iceberg, it’s moving but it doesn’t always seem that way from the top. Focus on making a change but do not pressure yourself or beat up on yourself if the change is noticeable at first. You will be surprise when one day you look back and be amazed at how much you accomplish once you stopped obsessing over the pace of your growth.
Happy Valentine’s Day!