Do you find yourself constantly yearning for company? Always wondering what others are doing? Maybe it was just me but in high school I always needed to have a friend with me. If I went to the cafeteria, I would need a buddy or I just couldn’t go. Being independent was my biggest fear when I was shipped off to college. But now, I realize that is probably the most important lesson I have learned.
In college, I have noticed that people spend a lot of time by themselves during the school week. Maybe it’s the heavy workloads that push people into their own worlds but I think it’s one of those weird life lessons. If you can’t learn to love being alone, you don’t even know yourself yet. I’m not trying to tell you that you should hate being around people – my point is that you should equally love the time that you spend on your own.
Over the course of the past month, I did various activities that showed me being alone can be AWESOME. From going on walks to going shopping, I was able to learn so much more about myself through very trivial actions.
When I went shopping I had so much fun. Although trying on clothes wasn’t as entertaining on my own, it allowed me to pop in and out of stores, which cut my trip to the mall in half! I also noticed that I had to decide on whether or not to buy clothes all on my own which served as a grander lesson for me. I finally started to learn how to trust myself. Deciding on buying either the purple or white top showed me a much bigger lesson; I don’t need to consult with someone every time I have to make a decision.
I walked without a destination and practiced mindfulness. Being mindful while going on walks was probably my favorite activity and something I will regularly continue. I was able to explore the area around my campus with free reign. If you do not know what mindfulness is, refer to this article. Mindfulness “is being present in the moment you are living. Do not let any previous judgments or doubts affect the way you are living right now”. Mindfulness is a proven practice to reduce stress. Learning to use positive tactics to channel your stress is a huge step to being independent. Simply put: when you know yourself, you know exactly how to deal with your shit.
School and health wise, your motivation levels will strengthen when you learn that everything you do is for you. This is a tough lesson to learn. It’s almost like you’re teaching yourself to be selfish. Professors in college don’t remind you to do your homework and your parents are not there to check up on you. You have to motivate yourself to do your work and you will learn that you are your first priority sometimes.
My biggest piece of advice for learning to be alone is to just do it! Muster up all your courage and explore what it feels like to be alone. I promise you, you will not regret it. Remember that being alone and loving it, is just a mindset.