Being a virgin in your twenties may sometimes feel like something that is either a massive part of your identity that everyone is quick to talk about, or it may be your little secret. Regardless, being a virgin in your twenties is completely okay. There is a lot of societal pressure surrounding sex and being sexually active, and it is not something that you should decide based on societal pressure. Having sex is a personal choice, and it should be a decision that is exclusively made between you and your partner. Sex is always without coercion, pressure or influence, or else it is not consensual. Here are three reasons why being a virgin at any age is aye-okay, and it is nothing to stress over.
- You're on your own time
Waiting on the right person, moment or experience is a completely valid reason to wait to have sex! Whether you are saving yourself until marriage, just waiting for a relationship or the right person, or you just haven’t had the right opportunity yet, these are all valid reasons for waiting. It is your choice, and you get to do what you want with your body. If your friends are talking about their latest hookup and you don’t relate to them and don’t find yourself wanting to relate, then maybe that isn’t the route for you. That is aye-okay, and it is up to you.
Losing your virginity may also be something that you are looking forward to, but it might not be in the cards right now. If you imagine this large-scale romantic gesture or consummating your marriage on your wedding night, maybe it is something that gets you excited, but not right now. If you were simply looking to get it over with, you probably would have already, and that is up to you!
- You don't feel like having sex
Whether you have a low libido, just haven’t met the right person yet, you’re asexual, or you’re recovering from an ass*ult, it is completely valid to just not feel like having sex. Having sex isn’t something that is exclusively fun and games, so waiting until you genuinely want to do it is a good idea. No pressure should ever be put on you to suddenly “feel” like having sex, and you should never pressure yourself or others into doing so.
- No sex = no fears, no stress
Not literally, but not being sexually active can be quite liberating in an odd way. You never have to worry about being pregnant if your period is late or you start feeling off. You don’t have to worry about the risk of as many sexually transmitted infections (STIs), because yes, you can get some STIs orally too! There is no stress of “oh no did the condom break” last night and that need to run to get Plan B. Plus you get some time back to yourself that you may otherwise spend looking for your next partner. In some ways, not having sex can be liberating in its own right.
Although being sexually active can be fun and is an empowering experience when done right, not participating is a valid and empowering choice too. Whether you’re saving yourself or just haven’t had the right opportunity, never let the pressure of society get to you. You do you, and stay strong!