**These archetypes of USF students are exaggerated. It is not my intention to offend my fellow peers, and I do not believe that the stereotypes described in this article encompass USF as a whole.**
1. The “Smoking Garden” Kid: Can be found in–you guessed it–the smoking garden. They are generally very cliquey and only hang out with other smoking garden kids and most likely want nothing to do with you.
2. The International Kid: This kid is carrying a handbag that costs more than a small car. They also probably almost ran you over with their Audi this morning while driving from Lomo to the lower campus.
3. The Overly Involved Kid: This kid is involved in everything from Greek life to freshman orientation. They were ASB President of their high school, which they never fail to bring up in casual conversation. They are always trying to motivate others to be just like them, usually to no avail, because let’s face it, this school is severely lacking in school spirit. But as long as this kid is around, the dream of an active student body that actually atends sporting events isn’t completely dead.
4. The Gay BFF: When you meet a guy who compliments your outfit, shares your love for Celine Dion, and gives you his number, you know you’ve found the Gay BFF. If it seems like he’s too good to be straight, then guess what, he probably is. Don’t despair though, he’ll always be there for you and he’ll be a great shopping buddy. And when you finally do manage to find a straight guy in this school and things don’t work out, the Gay BFF will be there for you.
5. The Girl Who Dresses Like Every Day is Coachella: Somewhere between hipster and basic is the Coachella Girl. This affluent SoCal chick looks like the just stepped out of an ad for Free People, and is probably majoring in design or something like that.
6. The Overqualified Guy in Your Class Who Should Have Gone to a More Competitive School: He’s a Computer Science major and would actually be kind of cute if he ditched the glasses, but he’s so freaking annoying you just want to kill him every time he opens his mouth. He is clearly intelligent and his insight is spot on but he just cares too much, which is only amplified by his being surrounded by kids who care a normal amount. Don’t be surprised when he invents the next biggest social media platform.
7. The Anime Kid: This kid was extremely common at your high school, and now it appears they’ve followed you to college. Chances are you have at least one in your class, one on your floor, and you’ve encountered a group of them at one of their loud, enthusiastic club meetings in the UC. Getting put in a group project with two of them is literally the worst thing ever; they hit it off and you feel like a total third wheel.
8. The Artsy Kid: By artsy I don’t necessarily mean artistic, just nonconforming in a hippie-ish kind of way. Their Instagram account has no actual humans in it, just plants and sunsets and ambiguous blurry things. You can’t be around them too much because they just make you feel generic. Especially when you have to go to a poetry reading for class, and they’re there, and you’re wearing Uggs and yoga pants and you just feel so mainstream that you want to go crawl under a rock and not be judged. Not that this has happened to me or anything.
9. The Athlete: Apparently the only people who don’t think green and gold is an ugly color combination, the Athlete is easy to spot because they are always decked out in their Dons gear. They often travel in packs.
10. The Frat Guy: A rare minority at this school, but if you see a guy wearing boating shoes and what look like swim trunks, even if it’s 8am and freezing cold out, it’s probably the Frat Guy. Their Facebook cover photo is the American flag and their profile picture is their letters.
11. The Fashionista: She doesn’t really have a personality, but you are in awe of her clothes and you are convinced that you could never pull off her hair color. She’s not very scholarly, but on the rare occasions that she does manage to make it to class you always end up with major outfit envy.
12. The Dissatisfied Kid Who Wanted the “College Experience”: You often wonder what this kid is doing here. They are terribly unhappy. They resent the “small school” atmosphere and they are bummed that there’s no football team, which is weird because that is one of the things you like about the school. No loud tailgating and no obnoxious families wandering around campus on the weekends. San Francsico is clearly wasted on this kid, and if they knew what was good for them they would transfer to a Big Ten school, which they will most likely eventually do.