The value a woman has starts with herself, not with others. Appreciating ourselves and recognizing our worth should be the most natural thing in the world, but women tend to have destructive thoughts about themselves. The opinion of others, the image they have of us, will cease to be as important as soon as we take control of our own lives—as soon as we master the idea of self-esteem.
I’m sure you have endless ideas and thoughts that you keep to yourself for fear of what others may say. I’m sure your smile can light a room up or your eyes can mesmerize someone, and I’m sure you know how to make your own decisions. So don’t let anyone define you, don’t let anyone take your dreams from you.
The first step to learn to value yourself as you deserve and to improve your self-esteem is analysis. Analyze your strengths, but also weaknesses that you can work to improve. Think of what qualities make you feel powerful and give value to your life. You need to fall in love with yourself before you can try to focus on others. Although it’s an interesting concept to wrap your mind around, there are simple things you can do:
1. Get to know yourself better: Imagine you just made a new friend. When you meet someone new, it’s normal that you ask them questions about their interests, hobbies, etc.
“What food do you like?”; “What do you like to do in your free time?”; “What things make you happy?”; “What are your dreams?”
Try journaling your own answers to these questions, and look: you just met a new friend. It’s you! You can’t love someone you don’t know, right?
2. Don’t compare yourself: Never, it’s forbidden, don’t even think about it, it’s not good for anything. You’ll always try to find someone smarter, prettier, or taller; and in that competition, you lose. And you lose because, in your head, the battle is lost before it even started.
Would you ever walk down the street comparing one of your friends to others? No? Then don’t do it to yourself!
3. Accept you for you: You know that your new friend has flaws, like everyone else. But you’ve gotten along so well, and have so many things in common, that you don’t need to take them into account. Their good qualities are more important. She’s going to make a mistake from time to time (that’s for sure!) but you’ll be there to comfort her and encourage her every time she feels bad about something she’s done.
4. Help yourself out: What do you do when a friend needs something from you? You run to provide it. Anything you can do to help a friend, you do it without thinking.
Well, that’s exactly the same thing that you have to do with yourself. Every time something doesn’t go well, stop to see what you need to make it work better, and provide it. First, become aware of everything you need and then behave as you would with a friend whom you greatly appreciate.
The journey has only just begun. You just met an unconditional friend who will always help you, always tell you what you need to hear, always take care of you, for the rest of your life. Will you be able to become your best friend?
Photos from Tumblr