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We’ve all been there, at least once. Met a guy who seemed nice. Exchanged numbers and started talking and you think, so far so good. We go on a date or maybe three until we find ourselves thinking about him a little more and wanting to hang out with him more often. The conversations are great, but then you guys miss a day of talking. Maybe he had an exam or you had to work. One day became two, then three, until halfway through the week you come to realize that you haven’t spoken in a couple days, even though you’re still interested. So, the real question is, “Does he still want me?”
Luckily, there are some signs that you can pay attention to so you don’t end up getting played. I don’t know about you, but the tea is about to spill and some of you are about to get burned.
This isn’t counted in the list but I just thought I would point out the obvious. (Because sometimes the obvious isn’t so obvious, is it?) Look, remember when you two started talking? It was fun, it was new and it was exciting. Just the thought of his name made you smile… until you started realizing that his text messages started coming in later and later.
One that would really get me heated is when I’d post something on my Insta story or Snapchat and see that he viewed it. C’mon, really? So, you’re just going to view my story and act like I didn’t just text you 30 minutes ago? Okay.
So, to answer your question: he doesn’t want you, boo. Instagram notifications show up on his screen just like text messages do. He checked one and ignored the other. Chances are you’re the notification that got swiped right… off the screen.
Now, that we got the obvious out the way, let’s begin:
Did He Just Make You Explain Yourself?
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It’s been almost a week and you decided to check up on him. You ask him the basic initial phone questions like you care, but you don’t. You just honestly want to know why he hasn’t been reaching out. You thought you guys were hitting it off, so what’s up with the dry spell? Leaving your inbox to collect dust like that is disrespectful and you deserve answers.
Then, he hits you with the “Man, to be honest, I couldn’t tell if you were into me like that. You kinda had a lil attitude last time.”
Oh no… really, dude? Really? At this point, you’re so taken aback by the response because you weren’t expecting it. You end up thinking back, “Wow, did I? How? When? Where?”
Now, you’re trying to justify your playfully thrown joke and the slight shade that he laughed at. This guy doesn’t just have you explaining yourself but questioning yourself, too.
But, here’s a little reminder: A little attitude wouldn’t stop him from calling you. He just didn’t want to.
My Minutes Are Free after 9 p.m.
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He’s always texting you, great. But the pattern is usually around a certain time frame, 8 p.m. to midnight.
Alright listen, this isn’t 2003 and T-Mobile won’t charge you those fees if you call before five. Don’t be a booty call. If you notice that he only hits you up during those times, then he only has one or two things on his mind: one, he has an “itch” that he needs to be scratched or two, he thinks you might have an “itch” that he would like to scratch. Don’t be that girl. Save your gas and most importantly, save your time. If you aren’t worth being seen during the day like a normal person, then let his ass get a rash. Throw some Cortizone 10 at him.
When You Have A1 Customer Service But, He’s a 2-Star Customer
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He reaches out, yes, but it’s only when he needs a favor. When he needs to use your printer, when he wants you to do his hair, when he wants you to do his laundry, or when he needs somewhere to sleep after a lit night. He’s using you.
But, you stay steadily providing that A1 customer service. You’re right there at his every beck and call. Sounds like you’re very convenient for him when he needs something.
What benefits does he give you? A kiss on the forehead? Oh, how about that pat on that back he gives you on his way out? Or maybe he only remembers you when he sees you? Well, sounds like you’ve been working a shitty-ass job with no benefits. Sucks for you.
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Once you realize that you need to stop being his best customer service rep, he hits you with, what my sister likes to call, “The Silent Guilt Trip”.
“The Silent Guilt Trip” is when he sends you text messages that sound like:
- “So you don’t know nobody no more?”
- “Why you never hit me up?”
- “Can we link up?”
- “When are we gonna get together?”
- “Wyd?”
- “I’m in town.”
Usually, he sends you these text messages when he sees you living your best life on Snapchat or when you drop the thirst-trap of selfies on his timeline. Yeah, photos that incorporate your happiness do that to a fuckboy.
Catch the signs early. If you have to ask for advice, you probably already spotted a red flag. But, this time, don’t justify it. Just cut him off.