A part of me wants to be a STEM girly but the other half wants to be a writer for “Vogue”.
A part of me wants to live in Florida but the other half wants to live in Washington.
A part of me wants to stay in school but the other half wants to be done after 4 years.
A part of me wants to go out with friends but the other half wants to stay in bed and watch movies.
A part of me wants to stay in the US but the other half would rather be anywhere else, like, Canada, Europe, or even better, Singapore; why not?
I’m so used to my routine that if I give myself a chance to break away, all the building blocks in my constructed plan will come crashing down on me.
I’m using that planner as an excuse to stay in my little shell where I’m comfortable… a little too comfortable.
Is this what an identity crisis feels like?
I’m a student who lives in Florida trying to become a psychologist who struggles every week trying to balance classes, internships, work, and sleep.
But who would I be in Canada or in Europe?
I would be a writer in Montreal, traveling to and from NYC any chance I get. I would probably live with my best friend and her dog, and we would do something different every weekend.
I would be a photographer for National Geographic in Europe, hopping from city to city with my boyfriend (who’s a chef, of course) and we would explore all the new sights, hike, try new foods, and take pictures of all the animals we encountered.
Somehow with every place I visit or new hobby I pick up, I’ve already imagined a new life. I guess it’s easy for me to get comfortable in new places, but taking the first step and being uncomfortable for a while is so hard.
I really just need to pop the routine bubble and let myself try anything and everything. I can’t keep saying “when I check this off the list, then I’ll do that.”