There is a stark difference between being upset with your friend or partner over a few disagreements, and compromising your own mental health in an attempt to keep the peace with them. Emotionally abusive relationships are not as obvious to recognize as physically abusive relationships; however, they can still take a toll and leave long-lasting effects such as low self-esteem, depression, and PTSD. Keep an eye out for these signs of an emotionally abusive relationship– they could be more evident than you think:
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Gaslighting: “Why do you always overreact like this?”
Gaslighting is an incredibly harmful tactic during which the abuser manipulates their victim into questioning their own feelings and emotions. They do this constantly to maintain the upper hand in the relationship or friendship, knowing it will keep their partner from feeling equal and ever having any sort of power to communicate their feelings, which brings me to my next point.
You are Afraid to Confront Them
The victim may find themselves nervous about bringing up anything that might be bothering them. They fear that they actually are being overly sensitive (due to what they have been made to believe) because their abuser will make them feel guilty for feeling the way that they are, which makes them suppress all their concerns which ultimately leads to more insecurity and inferiority complex.
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Getting the Silent Treatment
The “silent treatment,” or refusing to communicate with someone is a toxic but common strategy used by many. It is usually learned at a young age. Why is this toxic? Effective communication is the biggest part of any relationship. To completely dismiss and ignore the other person’s attempts at expressing their feelings is passive aggressive, and not at all progressive. It is used as a way to almost punish the victim and render them powerless because they are unaware of how to go about the situation.
Belittling: “That’s a really stupid opinion.”
Constant belittling can be subtle or obvious, intentional or unintentional, but either way is destructive for the receiving end. This can take many forms such as excessive criticism, being dismissive, making their partner feel dumb for their opinions and beliefs– but is not limited to just those. Like the other signs, the point of this is to prevent the victim from feeling heard and important by repeatedly shooting them down. It directly shows that the abuser does not have any respect for their friend or partner, which is already a huge red flag.
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A common theme in all of these is a need to feel superior, or at least keep the other party down in their place. It is incredibly important to remember that abuse is never the victim’s fault and though it may be difficult to leave the relationship, it will always be worth it in the end. Your future self and mental health will thank you.