A young girl sat at her desk quietly waiting for the teacher to speak. She was quiet, shy and reserved. Even though she was keeping to herself her classmates were teasing her because of how she looked. They didn’t understand why Saeyoung Kim looked different.
“Kids are cruel,” Kim said. “When they don’t understand things like a new culture they tend to not be nice.”
Saeyoung Kim was born in West Palm Beach, Fla. but both of her parents are from Korea. Saeyoung’s parents immigrated here more than 20 years ago just before her older sister was born. Her parents followed the American dream to the United States.
They knew life in America would be promising for their daughters’ future and education. Saeyoung has two older sisters. Gayoung Kim was born in America and Yeon Thomas in Korea.
In fourth grade Saeyoung and her family moved to Georgia. They lived in a Korean town. Everyone there was Korean, they spoke the language and they even had Korean grocery stores and malls. Saeyoung grew up learning to read, write and speak Korean, but this experience was different.
“We were already Americanized and had an individualistic mindset, so it made that hard,” Gayoung said.
Growing up with parents who had different values from all of her friends’ parents’ Saeyoung struggled.
“My parents tended to be a lot more strict than my friends parents,” Kim said. “I never got to go to sleepovers and parties. I had to go to afterschool and do extra homework to be the best.”
Kim’s parents were very anxious for her to be an academic. That was the biggest difference between Korean culture and American. Saeyoung’s parents believed in academically challenging her. The emphasis on academics was overwhelming and challenging to Saeyoung and her sisters.
“My parents didn’t understand the fun activities and extracurricular activities,” Gayoung said.
Kim felt trapped at times. She knew her parents wanted what was best for her but it was overwhelming. Her parents were not emotional and expected a lot from her. Good grades were not celebrated when Kim was growing up they were just expected. Strict punishments were common and they were not as lenient as other parents.
“I felt like I had an on and off switch growing up,” Kim said. “Like I had to act one certain way in front of my parents but then in front of my friends I could relax and be a different person.”
Kim relied on her two older sisters to help her out through this process. They had gone through similar situations that she was dealing with. Her oldest sister Yeon pushed her but also helped her to understand what their parents were doing.
“I was more of a parent to Saeyoung than a sister,” Yeon said. I was the strict one on her.”
Kim learned how to help her parents out with language barriers and how to balance her parents’ Korean ideals with her own Americanized ideals.
Kim found that writing helped her get through it all. She recorded her thoughts, feelings and anything that happened during the day. Writing helped her understand what she was feeling and the reasons behind it. Saeyoung could see the balance of her two worlds coming together in her writing. Writing was her outlet.
“It helped her become the person I am today,” Kim said.
Kim still writes today. She is currently writing newsletters for the University of South Florida’s Student Health Services and even has a personal blog. Coming to college opened a lot of doors for Saeyoung.
“It was hard having fun and a lot of freedom when I came to college but now I definitely have a balance,” Kim said.
Her parents’ ideals and culture helped shape her as a person today. They set a foundation. Now when she makes decisions she thinks of what her parents would do. She knows that school is her first priority and she is grateful that her parents have helped shape her ideals. Saeyoung has learned so much from her parents, including great manners and respect toward her elders.
“Saeyoung is dependable, kind, trustworthy and the type of person I hoped she would be,” Yeon said.
Yeon is a very proud sister. Gayoung, her other sister, also agrees that Saeyoung is a great person. She has seen Saeyoung grow up over the years and knows that she had to grow up fast. With her parents’ divorce Saeyoung did not get a chance to be rebellious and have fun.
Saeyoung knows, though, that her parents and their Korean ideals shape who she is today. She is grateful for all they have taught her.
“ I think they have helped me,” Kim said. “I’m a lot more open-minded. I’m a lot more patient and understanding. I am a more compassionate person.”