Hi everyone! Finals are approaching quickly so best of luck to everyone on any papers, projects, or insane tests coming up!
As a precursor, friendships and relationships in my life in earlier stages were somewhat about ease and convenience. In high school, it was who I sat next to or who was on my sports team. Now, after almost being done with my second year of college, I am genuinely coming to realize that friendships cannot primarily be facilitated through proximity. A majority of close people in my life have been there for years, and this caused me to reevaluate how I perceive relationships. It fueled a mental shift for me with my hometown friendships, my relationship, and the connections I’ve made in college.
With my hometown friends, it was crucial to realize that they helped guide me to where I am. These people are my rocks, and although we aren’t geographically close, they still can have little reminders that I care about them. I helped combat this distance by sending random texts to people I haven’t talked to in a while, scheduling Facetime call debriefs, and sending weird Tik Toks to them. It has always been so important to me that these people are close to me, but showing it outwardly has to be a deliberate choice; even if it’s just a reminder of our bond.
Pertaining to my relationship, it is the longest one I have been in…which is honestly nerve wracking. With the comfort and routine we have foundationally built, it is easy to get lost in a mundane line of consistency. Consistency is positive of course, but finding new things to show each other you care is important too. Like purposely planning a date in the week as opposed to just having someone come over shows intent and authenticity towards the person and relationship. Writing little notes has always been my favorite way of reminding him that I appreciate and care for him.
Lastly, within all of this, I wondered if I even knew how to be a good friend sometimes. Not in the way that anyone was being treated poorly, but that even with my absurd schedule people still have friendship-related needs that I sometimes fell short of. Quality time could have definitely been utilized more this semester, despite my personal life. For example, if I had a few hours out of my week where I wasn’t doing anything, I could allot that to someone I hadn’t seen in a while. It was definitely a turning point for me when I realized that even with the packed schedule I have, I should still reach out to those that matter most. Things can’t be one sided or lack attention and care from either side.
Overall, the lesson I learned is that friendships and interpersonal connections should be outwardly cherished in a way that makes the other person feel valued. It is so easy to get caught up in the insanity of life that sometimes it slips away; but never let that take precedence over the people who love you.
Jess <3