There are a handful of books that I’ve read over the years that I felt deserved honest reviews. Books that captured my heart and soul in all its entirety. Some that were so heartbreaking and some that were so uplifting and encouraging, I had no choice but to love them. I’ve read countless romance novels, mysteries & thrillers, fiction & literature, non-fiction, health books and spiritual reads. As an avid reader, I never felt that reading memoirs & biographies valued my time or my thoughts. Until reading, “Unfiltered No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me,” written by Lily Collins.
In this book Collins opens up in a way that any girl or woman would when writing in a personal diary that’s for her eyes only. This book is on a different level than what we usually get from Collins in interviews. “Unfiltered,” is riddled with personal essays and notes that cover a wide range of topics: from tattoos, to eating disorders (battling with anorexia and bulimia), abusive relationships, self-love and acceptance, the connection and closeness between mother-daughter relationships, the complexity of father-daughter relationships, and explores a variety of topics that are sometimes difficult to shed light on.
Collins stories are drastically familiar to most women, the chapters are not just reaching others that possibly went through the same experiences, but a way in which she expresses herself and ponders on the lessons that were thought throughout her ordeals.
As a young woman there are things that I sometimes veer away from talking about with my mother, my best friend and even my sisters. Along with Collins honesty and wisdom her ability to write about her secrets and challenges was one of the reasons I appreciated this book. There was no reference about balancing her life as a celebrity with such a busy schedule or how hard it is to find honest people in Hollywood. Because let’s be honest, we all have busy schedules and find it difficult to trust people.
In the first chapter, it opens about Collins expressing her insecurity about her eyebrows growing up, she talks about how her mother helped her embrace the quirky things (eyebrows) that made her different because it’s what makes her beautiful. It’s not an odd introduction to open her book, it was the perfect eye opener because almost everyone always associates Collins eyebrows as her signature trademark that makes her who she is. What this chapter does in a few short pages is shine a light on the fact that what Collins hated and tried so hard to change others admired.
In the second chapter, Collins talks about being in a very emotionally abusive relationship, and though she does not mention a name, she does go into detail about what transpired throughout the course of it. It explores the ups and downs and second chances at seeing the relationship through. Most importantly she talks about the lessons she learned from it. Relationships are difficult, and sometimes it can be the best thing that’s ever happened to a person good or bad. I think that this chapter for Collins was probably very difficult to write but something that was so inspiring and encouraging to see her come out on top at the end.
I loved the letter Collins wrote to herself on “WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE THINK WE DESERVE,” I’ve never experienced heartache before, nor have I been in a relationship that left me feeling utterly unworthy of myself. But what Collins wrote is something that I know every girl or woman should hear and would have no problem resonating with. Her personal letter to herself reminds us all that we deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, that we deserve to be loved just as we are and that we truly deserve happiness.
In chapter five, Collins talks about her battle for perfection. How she struggled with being in control of her life by choosing what foods she ate, when she ate, how much she ate and how often she worked out to the point that if she didn’t it caused her anxiety.
We know that obtaining perfection is virtually impossible, but somehow we still strive for it. “Perfection is an unobtainable goal,” she writes, but body acceptance is something most women and young girls struggle with, at times even myself. This chapter explores Collins battle with wanting to be perfect and steps she took to overcoming it.
Chapter 16, titled, “Everything Happens For A Reason,” muses on a variety of topics including the decision Collins made in leaving the University of Southern California during her sophomore year even though she didn’t want to. She felt her acting career at the time was more important, expressing that in spite of not finishing college she has no regrets on the choice she made. It explores breakups not being referred to as “failed” relationships because of what she ultimately learned from each one of her past experiences. And to finally accepting the fact that everything happens for a reason, she finds comfort in knowing that even though her relationships brought heartache it taught her to not only embrace who she is as person just as she is but to never be silent when it comes to how she feels.
I learned a lot about Lily Collins’ character through the wisdom she imparted in this book. A few of her quotes that stood out to me are:
“Forgiving myself is just as important as forgiving others.”
“It starts with me. In order to accept the love I deserve from someone else, I must truly believe that I am worthy of it. And I am. And I’ll never let anyone tell me differently.”
“You deserve happiness. You deserve to be loved, just as you love others. You deserve everything.” Throughout the entirety of this book this quote was undoubtedly my favorite. It can mean so many different things for so many people, but to me it meant that I am enough, and I will always be enough.
Lily’s ability to add humor to some of her almost there relationships, coining it as “ghosting,” and her continuous positivity throughout 217 pages counts as a puzzle piece to who she truly is. A few of the chapters included in this article are some that were very prevalent topics that I think every girl and most woman experiences at some point in her life. Heartache, self doubt, acceptance, and of course relationships. I would suggest adding this to your reading list, It’s an encouraging, motivational and an inspiring read.