It has almost become a ritual now — As soon as I finish reading a book or watching a movie, I have to open one of two important apps on my phone. Letterboxd, an app for film bros, and Goodreads, an app for millennial women, are how I track the media I’ve consumed. Letterboxd was originally meant to keep track of the movies I watched, my foray into a film culture that I had little to no experience in. Meanwhile, Goodreads was meant to make me feel accomplished about how many books I was reading. Now, my focus has shifted and being able to document what I’ve read or watched is not simply about keeping record. Deciding what I would rate a novel or movie out of five, and why I gave it that particular rating, is an important moment of self-reflection.Â
I don’t consider myself to be a serious critic, pretending to understand the various nuances of direction or of complex characterization. I tend to rate media based on how it made me feel, something that is completely objective. In the beginning, my reviews ended up addressing various technical elements, in an attempt to seem as if I knew what I was talking about. Now, I write how I truly feel without any shame because I’ve come to realize that it isn’t deep. As I consume media, it’s meant to be a fun stress relieving tool — assigning importance on the “right” and “wrong” way to perceive it removes the enjoyment. I shouldn’t feel ashamed of what I’m watching/reading or about my opinion not aligning with someone else’s. I definitely shouldn’t feel ashamed if I operate based purely on emotion and not logic.Â
In the process of learning this, my reviews have shifted to begin to sound more genuine. As I consider my rating and why, I begin to think about what I find to be important. I am, in a way, forced to articulate my feelings and why they exist. Even though it seems silly, for someone who struggles to express her feelings through words, doing so through reviews is simply practice. Being able to explain the why, even for something as small as a media review, is therapeutic in this way. Whenever I’m experiencing a moment of temporary boredom, I can read my old reviews and remember the feelings I held at that time. Some reviews tend to be shorter, simple one liners and others tend to be longer, a deeper exploration of specific elements I did or did not enjoy. I can look towards the past to understand what themes I particularly identified with and purposefully seek out similar themes in the next piece of media I choose to consume. These reviews are not just a way to express my opinion, but a time capsule of my thoughts.Â