Breakups are always tough. Since childhood, we’ve witnessed the crucial moments on TV shows and in films in which a couple comes to a heartbreaking end. While those female characters always seem to successfully and effortlessly get over their ex, reality proves a lot more difficult, especially in a world where you could spend weeks talking to someone, going on dates, and maybe even planning your marriage before even getting a title. If you’re like me and that relationship title slipped away and now you’re shamelessly crying to break up songs, here are four ways to get over the person you never actually dated.
- Let the tears fall—preferably with a good playlist.
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Having a breakup playlist is essential. While you might feel like you don’t deserve to wallow over a relationship that only ever partially existed, crying to some Frank Ocean really does heal the soul. Break up playlists don’t have to be exclusively sad either. Listen to Demi Lovato’s Sorry Not Sorry or Lizzo’s Truth Hurts all day, every day, until your ears bleed. Inspirational music is cathartic during a period of self-doubt.
- Scream about it with the people closest to you.
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Venting can be one of the most therapeutic ways to get all your emotions off your chest. My relationship made me feel crazy when it ended because while all the feelings were there, the title and the commitment weren’t. What helped me move past this was talking about it to the people closest to me. When the people who love you know you’re hurting, they’ll often find ways to support you. If anything, the barista, bartender or Taco Bell drive-thru employee will probably get a good chuckle out of your situation.
- Stop checking up on them!
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Seriously, stop doing this. Log out of Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, whatever. Going through their profile pictures, recent likes or looking at their location on Snapchat will not help. And likely, they’re not doing the same for you. Take Lizzo’s advice and “Boss up and change your life!” Use this time to do what makes you a better you. Catch up on that podcast or go get coffee with a friend.
- Smile.
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Studies show that the act of smiling alone can improve someone’s mood. The motion helps relax the body and releases endorphins. Even if it doesn’t feel that way, smiles are contagious. When you smile, people around you will smile too, and everyone could use some more joy in their lives.