As you all know, I talk a lot about sex. Like, a lot. However, I feel like I never dissected the aftermaths of a hookup. Specifically, whether or not you should stay the night. I’ve been on both ends of this situation: staying over and leaving. Is it weird to sleep with him after the first time? Is it too affectionate? Is he going to think you want something more? Personally, I feel like the actual sleeping part of a hook up is more intimate than the sex itself. The cuddling, spooning, sharing a blanket, and especially waking up next to him. So the question here is; should you do it? Obviously, every situation is different, but I’m going to break it down into four parts: staying at his place, leaving his place, having him stay at your place, and having him leave.
You Stay
Let’s start with the basics here. You go over to this kid’s house or dorm, you hang out, hook up, and you’re f*cking beat. The thought of getting up to pee after already haunts you, so getting in your car seems impossible. You’re both still undressed, scrolling on Instagram or Twitter in silence. It’s already 2 a.m., and sure, technically you could go home and sleep in your own bed, but doesn’t that seem so inconvenient right now? So you turn over and look at him all cute and shit and ask, “Hey um, am I staying the night or no?” It is crucial you ask like this, because if you were to give him the question “Can I stay the night?”, you are more likely to get a “no” response. It’s kind of a mind game here because you are already implying that you’re staying over instead of asking for permission. However, if it’s a Tuesday night and you have 9 a.m. the next morning, you better just go home (this also plays in when he comes over to your place). Because after all, he’s not your boyfriend, he’s just a guy who gave you d*ck and happens to have a really comfortable bed.
You Leave
Honestly, I love doing this. I feel like such a badass when he leaves the room to get us water after, and he comes back in and I’m already tying my f*cking sneakers. Also, I feel like this kind of messes with him a bit too, which could be fun, because you honestly did come over just to have sex. It shows him you don’t care for the cuddling and romantic shit, even though everyone does, which might make him want to see you more and try to get that side out of you. On the contrary, he might also just see you as a piece of ass to come and satisfy him and then leave, which might not be your overall intention. Either way, it’s never a bad thing for you to go over, get your sh*t rocked, and go home in time to watch Bachelor in Paradise, because you know, priorities man.
He Stays
Sometimes, you’re just too lazy to get up and go out, so you invite him over to chill. In these situations, you definitely already have power over him because it’s pretty clear what your intentions are. I hate to admit it, but sometimes the deciding factor of him staying over is whether or not the sex was good. Because staying the night isn’t just staying the night, it’s also the additional morning sex. So if he seems to have made himself comfortable in your bed and isn’t showing any sign of fleeing the scene, then it’s totally fine if he stays over. Just make sure it doesn’t become a routine because that could lead to some messy feelings, which we all know by now that I don’t f*ck with at the moment.
He Leaves
This situation could either suck or be exactly what you need. As I said before, it all depends on the act itself. So if it was good, you might want him to stay, but if it was bad, you probably want him out of there. Most of the time, the ones that weren’t the best, are the ones impossible to get rid of. You try every excuse in the book; from class in the morning, friend “emergencies,” and the plain old “I need to get a good night’s sleep tonight.” Hopefully he gets the message and dips, but the ones that leave that you didn’t want to, kind of sting. You wanted to wake up next to him and cuddle and have a little more action in the morning. And I’d be lying if I didn’t try to pull out all the stops to get him to stay over. Usually it just reels him back in for one more round, but sometimes I get lucky and I feel like a god.
So whether you cum and go, or he nails and bails, or you have a cute lil sleepover, you shouldn’t be worried about how it’s going to affect the relationship. Yes, it’s easy to get led on in situations like these, but just remember, you’re upset about a boy who lasts a maximum of 20 minutes and spontaneously twitches in his sleep.