Dear You,
When I think about loving you after being cheated on in my last serious relationship, only two things come to mind: First of all, I’m sorry, and secondly, thank you.
After you get cheated on your whole perspective changes. You start overthinking every single thing someone says to you. You continuously think about whether or not your new significant other is also lying to you.
You automatically have your guard up, and it’s tall and strong. You invest trust in only yourself. You feel like you can no longer trust someone’s words or actions in the dating scene.
There’s this constant anxiety that something is being hidden from you at all times; like they aren’t giving their full selves to you. Not to mention a crippling fear that they might randomly decide they don’t want to be with you anymore. You have this fear because you lost the sense of comfort in a relationship when you had your heart ripped out and effortlessly tossed into a blender.
When they short text you or take a while to reply, your mind ventures off, and you sit there wondering if they’re just busy or if it’s because they don’t want to talk to you. You’re uneasy about being in a trusting relationship. You feel that you aren’t worthy of be treated well because you’re used to being treated so poorly.
So, I’m sorry that I couldn’t automatically trust you, even though you didn’t do anything to show me that I shouldn’t.
And I’m sorry because this isn’t your fault. It’s the assh*le that cheated on me’s fault, and now you’re left to clean up this mess that was left behind.
But I also want to thank you.
I want to thank you for taking the time to deal with me and my current way of handling this new relationship.
I want to thank you for being honest with me and especially for being patient with me. You don’t lash out when I accuse you of something you’re completely innocent of, and you don’t call me crazy for even thinking it (because it had happened to me before).
I also want to thank you for teaching me that not everyone is a bad person. You showed me that people can be trustworthy, and that I’m not the reason my last relationship failed. When I was cheated on, the person only cheated on themselves. They lost something great.
You showed me that it’s okay to put all my marbles into one bag and love a person completely without worrying something would go wrong.
Thank you for loving me through the transition and showing me that not everyone intends to hurt me.
Thank you mending the heart the last man shattered.
Love,
Me