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An Open Letter to 8AM’s

I have made a terrible mistake and it starts at 8AM on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I didn’t choose this life—it was the only opening for the class I needed to take. The 8AM life chose me, and I have strong feelings about it.

Dear 8AM class,

It is way too dark outside.

I’ll get up when the sun gets up. 6:30AM is very dark and also significantly colder than the rest of the day. Dark and cold is the worst combination, especially after Peking Tokyo and I-Zone in the same night. Not about that life.

It’s too early to look presentable.

If you do your hair and have a full face of makeup on for morning classes…Who are you?  Don’t expect me to look red-carpet ready to give an interview on E! News, when in reality I look ready to testify in court.  Who are you wearing?  Sweatpants. I am wearing sweatpants. 

I will be walking slowly.

I don’t have the energy to move at a pace faster than ‘tortoise.’  That means all over campus you’ll see the 8AM college student in their natural habitat: walking to class with a zombie-like facial expression and a primate-like walk.

You have to be a morning person to master the art of an 8AM.  I’m just not.

You know you take an 8AM when a professor has said, “Why does everyone look half-asleep, show some enthusiasm people!” Or,  “Looks like I need to bring everyone Dunkin coffee next class.” No, you need to bring everyone a pillow and a bacon, egg and cheese on a bagel, and then, maybe I’ll show some enthusiasm. 

And of course, people who start classes at noon are like…

Well, now I’m wide-awake.

By the end of my 8AM class, I’m awake and ready to start my day.  Alright, I’ll admit I like getting classes done with early in the day, but I’m usually so busy with work I don’t even have time to nap. Tragic, isn’t it? Had I started my day later, I’d have a couple more hours of sleep that I know I won’t make up for during the day.

I’m going back to bed.  Wake me up when 8AM’s are over.


The idiot that took an 8am class

Jamie is a freshman Communication Studies major at the University of Rhode Island. While she is not mourning the loss of Chelsea Lately, she enjoys watching Saturday Night Live, taking Buzzfeed quizzes, or making the mistake of stalking Instagram food accounts while on an empty stomach. Sarcasm is her forte and she strongly believes in leggings and reality television; if she cannot be a Kardashian, at least she can write about them.
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