I have made a terrible mistake and it starts at 8AM on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I didn’t choose this life—it was the only opening for the class I needed to take. The 8AM life chose me, and I have strong feelings about it.
Dear 8AM class,
It is way too dark outside.
I’ll get up when the sun gets up. 6:30AM is very dark and also significantly colder than the rest of the day. Dark and cold is the worst combination, especially after Peking Tokyo and I-Zone in the same night. Not about that life.
It’s too early to look presentable.
If you do your hair and have a full face of makeup on for morning classes…Who are you? Don’t expect me to look red-carpet ready to give an interview on E! News, when in reality I look ready to testify in court. Who are you wearing? Sweatpants. I am wearing sweatpants.
I will be walking slowly.
I don’t have the energy to move at a pace faster than ‘tortoise.’ That means all over campus you’ll see the 8AM college student in their natural habitat: walking to class with a zombie-like facial expression and a primate-like walk.
You have to be a morning person to master the art of an 8AM. I’m just not.
You know you take an 8AM when a professor has said, “Why does everyone look half-asleep, show some enthusiasm people!” Or, “Looks like I need to bring everyone Dunkin coffee next class.” No, you need to bring everyone a pillow and a bacon, egg and cheese on a bagel, and then, maybe I’ll show some enthusiasm.
And of course, people who start classes at noon are like…
Well, now I’m wide-awake.
By the end of my 8AM class, I’m awake and ready to start my day. Alright, I’ll admit I like getting classes done with early in the day, but I’m usually so busy with work I don’t even have time to nap. Tragic, isn’t it? Had I started my day later, I’d have a couple more hours of sleep that I know I won’t make up for during the day.
I’m going back to bed. Wake me up when 8AM’s are over.
Sincerely,
The idiot that took an 8am class