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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at URI chapter.

The menstruation copulation. The bloodbath bang. The “I’m not pregnant” intercourse. Whatever you want to call it, period sex needs to be addressed right now.

The relationship a girl has with her period is so toxic and there’s literally no escape until you get menopause but I don’t even want to think about that. She’s like the guy that you hooked up with two years ago that continues to hit you up and at this point, you have nothing better to do than chill with him. But then you remember why you stopped seeing him in the first place so you leave and then next month boom. He’s back. And you’re back. And it’s this never ending cycle of wanting him, then not wanting him, then freaking out because you don’t have him, then getting him again, then losing your mind because he won’t go away and then back to the beginning. But I’m not here to talk about your period and how we feel about it. I want to address an issue that has been debated numerous times between friends, exes and even strangers.

The stigma that surrounds periods honestly makes no sense. Girls will literally share the most intense, in detail, gross and personal issues and stories with random girls in the bathroom of a bar. But if you’re in need of a tampon, you suddenly act like it’s the most shameful thing to do in public and that everyone is going to judge you.

Bottom line is, periods make us uncomfortable, even the girls.

So why is it that guys are so grossed out too when it’s that time of the month and you want to get it on? We already feel bloated, crampy, emotional and especially horny, so why is it too much to ask for a guy to help us forget about our monthly pain for like 20 minutes? I asked a few people their thoughts on the issue and when I say “asked” I mean I was sitting in a room with a bunch of random guys and girls and literally stood up and shouted “Period Sex? Yes or No?” To my surprise, this spiraled into an entire debate on whether or not you should do it or not and why. The results were confusing, annoying and a little bit concerning. We had mostly “No fucking way”, a few “Yeah I don’t care”, and the rest said, “It depends.” The agreed issue between the group was, “too messy”, “gross” and “doesn’t feel good.” So let’s dissect this together, shall we?

#1: It’s messy.

Ok, I’ll give them that one. Periods are messy and there’s no avoiding that and also I envy every girl that uses the regular sized tampons on day three. But anyways, there are ways to help with that. First off, you can change locations. For example, go in the shower. It kills two birds with one stone where you can have sex and stay clean the whole time. However, sexy shower time can sometimes be an issue especially for college students because the showers are way too small or you have to use the communal bathrooms and that’s definitely not romantic. So you can’t use the shower, now what? You can always put down a towel on the bed and go to town, but when I brought that up to my research to the group of guys, they all squirmed and said “yeah… but still.” I don’t know what the “but still” means but I’m pretty sure that just brings us to the second excuse.

#2: It’s gross

Obviously, it’s not ideal to deal with blood during something as intimate as sex, and I’m not trying to force guys to just surrender and take it like a champ, but I think there should be some clarification surrounding it. First off, periods aren’t like bloody noses. It’s not going to start pouring out and everything is going to look like the prom scene from Carrie. During an entire menstrual cycle, women lose about 80 ml of blood which translates to about six to eight teaspoons. So you shouldn’t be scared of blood spewing out at all angles and splattering all over the place like a Law and Order SVU crime scene.

Either way, period sex isn’t the cutest, but it’s not that gross. Not to pull a double standard card out, but why is it that some guys think it’s perfectly fine to do anything surrounding anal and butt stuff (don’t get me started on butt stuff) but then once we’re on our period they freak out and act like we totally didn’t just suck on their balls (sorry Dad but it’s for science). But in reality, you can’t change people’s opinions on what they think and feel, so if you think period sex is gross, okay. If you think the word “moist” is gross, okay. If you think I’m actually psychotic for writing this, okay. That’s your opinion sweetie, but at least know the facts. Along with the fact that it’s not as much blood as you think, I need to clear some things up for some of you guys before you look stupid.

  1. It’s not “bad” to have sex on your period. There are no rules here. Do it or don’t, but either way nothing bad will ever happen

  2. It feels the same. Obviously, I don’t have the same “resources” as a guy to testify for this, but from my understanding, it’s not much different. Honestly, I think it’s easier because you’re already “lubricated” in a sense.

  3. It doesn’t hurt us. Everyone knows that periods cause cramps and cramps hurt (Thanks Captain Obvious), but having sex while on your period actually reduces the discomfort caused by cramps and bloating so hold off on the Advil and have some Vitamin “D” instead. (Not sorry about that one)

Now that we are all on the same page here, let’s go back and ask ourselves, should I have period sex? If I convinced you to at least try it, amazing and my job here is done. If you are still hesitant about doing it, then don’t. Sex means something different to everyone so if being on your period makes you feel anything less than how you usually feel, then don’t do it. No one is forcing you or your partner to do this. Whether you have it or not, you can still cue up Game of Thrones on your TV and cuddle with your mans after which is pretty much the end goal here if I’m being completely honest. Bonus points if you have sex, but you do you boo.

 

 

Hey everyone! I'm Leila Fine and I'm a sophomore at URI majoring in Journalism and Film Media! I'm from Rockland County, NY Insta: leilaafine