Impractical Heels That Should Stay on the Shelf

As a shoeaholic, each elevated heel in my arsenal provides an essential service to synch an outfit together. From the pair of stilettos that are taken out for special nights, the kitten heels for job interviews and the wedges for summertime, 2” to 6” extra can be all that you need.

What about the shoes that are just left on the store shelves? What about the shoes that are outrageous and impractical to the point that why becomes a common question? The problem is that certain womenswear designs leave us without a leg to stand on. Too often new fashion designs care less about the well-being of their customers and more about the profitability of their customer base, selling outlandish pieces of clothing that appeal more to self-gratification than safety or realistic design. Easy browsing on shoe websites for early Black Friday deals have brought me to solely covering accessories that are better left grounded.

Snow Shoes with a Chunky Heal

For footwear designed specifically to handle surfaces that range from rough to wet to an absence of traction, the lack of a firm placement for the majority of your bodyweight is downright frightening. If even practiced models slip on the runway, then what would stop a causal winter wonderland stroller from slipping on ice with a boot that places all your body’s balance on the ball of your foot? Oh baby, be careful when they start singing, “It’s cold outside~.”

Work Boot Stilettos

Originally intended to be work boots, the tan colored shoe with a cushioned black rim occasionally has a steel toe to prevent the foot from being damaged if something accidentally fell on it. This practical design was reimagined into a heeled form. Yes, fashion can be an expression of art in motion and, hey, if the shoe brings the outfit together, who am I to argue with it. Then why is the shoe being called a “hiking boot”? By making something less functional and still applying it to a similar physically taxing environment creates an irritating standard.

Climbing Heals

The final, and most difficult pair of heels to understand are the hiking shoes recreated with the 4” incline. Intended to enhance a climber’s grip on all manners of terrain they might ascend, Teva Stilletos, as they are called, “allow you to mountain climb and hike in style.” These shoes have everything! From grip strength on the bottom of the sole to velcro straps that really bring you closer to that arch your foot is making while you scale a mountain.

These shoes are cute and possibly even comfortable. During a dry day on a mostly flat surface, they would work well with several outfits seen in H&M store windows. If applied in the environments they were intended for, however, they would be wildly impractical.

It hones in on the issue of marketing that is focused on every venue of womenswear without having conscious care for the consumer. Put down the tools doctor, this Frankenstein is a monster.