If Disney Princes Were Your College Hook Ups

1. The Player

He comes up to you at a party and works his undeniable charm.  However you'll soon realize this street rat is a bit of a con artist.  This type of guy will have his hand on another girl's a$$ while he's hitting on you.  He claims he'll show you "A Whole New World" on his magic carpet, but you know better, Princess. 

2.  The Emotionally Distant

A sweet, funny man who can hold a decent conversation; even makes eye contact instead of constantly staring at your chest.  Keep him at an arm's distance, and you're golden.  The sex is great, just don't mistake that kind of intimacy for availibility.  Personal questions about him are an absolute no-no.  His least favorite thing to hear: what are we? His most: "Almost There".

3.  The Bad Boy

*Sigh* We've all loved one haven't we?  The effortlessly tousled hair and devastating smolder leaves you weak in the knees, and you know there's a heart of gold hidden under his tough exterior.  A wanted felon, maybe, but people make mistakes. He tells you, "I've Got A Dream" and you believe him because, I mean, just look at that face. 

4.  The One Nighter

Listen, Sir, you had one job, but now that you've fulfilled your duties as Prince Charming I'm just going to lay here and pretend to sleep until you get the hint, give me a kiss good-bye, and slip out.  A cordial tight-lipped smile will be exchanged when we bump into eachother, but that's all.  "Someday My Prince Will Come", but I sure hope he lasts longer than you did.

5.  The Beast

Most likely a roid-raged d-bag who takes his excess testosterone out on you.  He has hair in places you didn't even know hair could grow, and it's a shame because when he isn't acting like a total animal he's a real sweet heart.  Unfortunately, in this "Tale As Old As Time" the hard-o will not change his ways and transform into the man of your dreams.  What's that saying?  Beasts will be beasts.

6.  The Athlete

Total heart throb thanks to his killer physique, self-discipline, passion and skill.  Sure, "Once Upon A Dream" you'll end up with him, but odds are he invests more time and money in his sport and teammates than he ever will in you.  Sorry, Beauty.

7.  The Trophy Kill

The most amazing man to ever grace your sheets.  You'd kill to have him "Part Of Your World" with those eyes and that smile.  You watch him sleep the morning after, wondering how you managed to pull this one off.  How long until he realizes your bat sh*t crazy, and runs for the hills?  Hopefully awhile, because you could get used to this view.

8.  The Escapist

He'll run at the first sign of conflict.  He's down for the "Hakuna Matata" lifestyle--no worries--but when the going gets tough, the not-so-tough get the hell outa there.  So don't expect him to apologize first (or ever), and definitely don't expect him to talk about his troubled past.

9.  The Different One

Is it his foreign looks, the fact that your parents and friends don't approve, or maybe that you've never met anyone like him before that has you so mesmerized?  You couldn't paint a more perfect man with all the "Colors Of The Wind", but, for one reason or another, he'll be sent down the river.

10.  The Hero

Hopefully you are lucky enough to meet one of these guys.  They're rare, as all Gods are.  He'll lay his life on the line for you and earn his title as a true hero.  He can "Go The Distance" in every way, and I do mean every way.  A total wonderboy, and if you find him, then you better hang onto him.