I know I’ve been slacking on the good stuff. You all want to hear me write about d*cks and sex and all that. Trust me, I will never stop providing you with all my tips and tricks, but I need to get something off my chest. You know the saying “practice what you preach?” Like many of us, we never do, including me. I might seem like this college girl who has boys and sex all figured out but to be completely honest, I don’t. I came to a realization that even though my name is engraved on these risque topics, I’m still a human being who can’t avoid intimate relationships as hard as I try to. I don’t know why people are so scared to have feelings for someone. It might be the fear of rejection, fear of commitment, fear of trust, fear of getting too comfortable, fear of getting hurt. And I’m guilty of it, sue me. But I need to address this like a rational person because catching feelings sends you down a spiral of anxiety, stress, and overall emotional turmoil. I spoke to one of my guy friends recently and we both agreed that is is pretty much physically impossible not to catch feelings for someone. Even if you try everything in your willpower not to.
Let’s use an example, shall we? So let’s say you meet this guy or girl (shoutout to all my male readers, what’s good) and you start hanging out. You establish guidelines right away to protect each other.
-
Don’t catch feelings
-
If you do, be honest and we need to stop hooking up
-
I don’t care what you do if you don’t care what I do when we’re not together
You sign this contract together and everything seems like it will work out perfectly. You see each other every couple of days, maybe even every day. The first week or so is mainly just hooking up and falling asleep. F*ck, rest, repeat. But then some other things start happening. The f*ck doesn’t happen once you first step foot in the room. Maybe you watch some TV or he plays video games and you just lay next to him. Maybe a few hours go by and you’re just hanging out, enjoying each other’s company. Then the f*ck starts to change. He holds your hand while it’s happening. He grabs your face to kiss you. It becomes more intimate and it’s kinda freaking you out but you kind of like it so you play along. You play with his hair and run your fingers down his arm afterward. You cuddle close to each other while he holds you tight and soon this becomes ritual. The romantic-esque interactions before, during, and after the sex. It’s still a hookup to the world and everyone else, and maybe it is just that to him, but the hands, arms, and hair are the windows to the soul. It’s the vulnerability but safety you feel when you’re together, whether or not you are being intimate with each other. Sometimes you go out in public together. Grab food or coffee. Hang out with other people together as a group. Maybe there isn’t any PDA actually there but you both know what you want. And this is why this sh*t is so CONFUSING. Like you felt that I felt that, we all felt that. And it sucks because you don’t know if they feel that same pit in their stomach when stuff like this happens. It’s the continuous hanging out that triggers it. It’s pretty impossible to avoid this from happening. And this is because there are two different types of guys. There’s guy number one who is the one you sleep with once in a while, probably after a party or something. No connection, just there to get each other off. And then there’s guy number two, he’s the exact same guy as guy number one except he talks to you even when it’s not about hooking up. He stays the night when you’re together. He shows some other interest in you besides what’s going on down below. And this is why I’m spiraling. And guy number one can turn into guy number two because anyone is capable of it. Sometimes guy number ones pretend to be number twos just to sleep with you more. But sometimes they’re genuine and real and it’s just an entire clusterf*ck of emotions and confusion and then you’re just a mess. So now you get it. If you start getting a routine with someone, even if you swore it’s nothing more than a f*ck buddy, you’re sh*t out of luck kid. Because you are catching the feels, whether you like it or not. I know it f*cking sucks, don’t yell at me, I’m just doing my job.