College boys: They come in all shapes and sizes. Some are great, some are confusing, some are out of your league, and some you just completely regret. After my first year of college, I’ve been through a multitude of different guys I have talked to or even hooked up with. So, without further ado, here is a list of all the guys you will probably encounter one way or another throughout your 4 years here. **Names and examples were provided by many different girls from different schools so don’t come at me**
- The Frat Guy
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Frat guys fall into many different categories, but the one I’m talking about is pretty much the average Joe. He most likely came into his freshman year with his entire friend group from highschool, rushed the same frat with all of his boys, and now only wears his letters with grey sweatpants every day. He eats sleeps breathes his fraternity and will never not be seen holding a White Claw and a Juul. Smells like the inside of an Abercrombie and doesn’t shave his pubes. Most likely named Ryan, Jake, Justin, or Chris.
- The Gym Rat
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The gym rats, otherwise known as meatheads, are the creatine addicts. They usually have a better sense of style but will generally wear athletic shorts all year round. Their room is usually pretty clean, except for the empty protein shake bottles on top of their dresser. May or may not be in a frat, but definitely plays basketball at least 3 times a week with his friends. They usually land on the nicer side of the spectrum, but don’t get too caught up, because he will most likely be the type of guy to ghost you. Posts Instagram stories of meal preps and gym mirror pictures. Everyone refers to him by his last name and drives around campus blasting Lil Uzi. Most likely named John, Sean, or Steven.
- The Business Major
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Enough said.
- The Townie
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He lives at home with his parents and has a job working construction. Smokes cigarettes and has multiple tattoos with zero meaning. You met him at a bar and he’s really cool, besides the fact that he drives a 1995 Toyota Camry. You find out the next morning that he’s not enrolled in school. Might have an Android. Most likely named Tim, Tyler, or Mike.
- The Soundcloud Rapper
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We all know this kid. Wears skinny jeans every day with V-necks. Has a lot of inexpensive expensive looking jewelry. Doesn’t drink that much but definitely takes Xanax. His Soundcloud album is in his tinder bio and he only listens to his own music. Drives a nice car but it’s messy as f*ck. Be sure to check your DMs because he will send you your own Instagram posts with a fire emoji. Usually under 6 feet tall and super aggressive during sex. Most likely named Anthony, Josh, or Ben.
- The Nice Guy
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You had a class with him and he’s definitely not your type but for some reason, it happened. Super nice and smart, your parents would love him, and he has a good relationship with his mom. Has younger sisters and a cat. Usually an engineering or accounting major. You expected him to be a virgin, but for some reason, the sex was actually amazing. Really kinky, but possibly uncircumcised. Most likely named Adam, Pat, or Andrew.
- The Dropout
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Different from the townie, the dropout still shows up to all school events and parties. Everyone knows him and he’s always blackout drunk. Super loud and obnoxious, but generally a fun time. Might have whiskey d*ck but good at foreplay. You tend to see him literally everywhere you go and has hooked up with at least 5 girls you know. Most likely named Nick or Zack.
- The Best Friend
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You and him are boys. You hang out all the time, help each other with other relationships, and never EVER planned on hooking up. But, you both got way too drunk at a party and next thing you know you’re in bed together. The sex was okay, but the aftermath is super uncomfortable. You agree on never doing it ever again, a couple of days go by, and everything is back to normal. Might lead to a tricky friends-with-benefits situation but most of the time was a one-time thing. Most likely named Joe, Brian, or James.
- The Tinder Hookup
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You matched with him in the morning and you went over to his place that night. Tried to find any commonalities but just didn’t have anything. Kind of an awkward experience until you started hooking up. Most likely made you Uber home because he has “work in the morning”. Randomly texts you every month at 4 am to come over because he’s drunk and horny. Most likely named Jimmy, Ian, Jared, or Dylan.
- The 5th Year
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We know him. We love him. We think we could never get him, but it’s actually easier than you thought. Associates with his old frat and drinks like he’s in highschool. Super intimidating but actually kind of boring in real life. Unfortunately has a small d*ick and lasts under 20 minutes. It was honestly for the clout, but you would never do it again. Most likely named Rob, Dan, Alex, or Will.