By Carlos Micames
Valentineās Day can be terrible for those classic romantics seeking love. Unless you already have a partner with whom to commemorate the occasion with, thereās not much to expect from this day. However, there are countless opportunities to find love during this time and maybe find the person youāll be with for the next Valentineās day. Being a hopeless romantic in a hookup culture is a special kind of hell, and it takes determination and a great amount of work to achieve this goal. Separating yourself from the crowd requires convincing women that youāre not another pretty boy seeking a quick Valentineās hookup to comply with tradition. Itās a struggle, but the results are guaranteed to be much more satisfying.
1. Donāt despair
The easiest mistake most romantics make is classifying your emotions as love and obsessing over a person. Love doesnāt arrive until youāre actually in a relationship for a certain period of time, usually 6 months to a year. Any feelings you have for a person at this stage are simply infatuation and there is a high probability youāll feel it again. Remember that putting them up on a make believe pedestal wonāt help you in any way, especially not emotionally. In order to win the heart of a woman, itās important to treat them with respect, but not like royalty. Have self-respect and convince her she has to work just as hard to win your heart as well. Iāve never heard of love at first sight, and Iām not convinced it exists. You can never know what kind of person someone is unless youāve spent years with them, so donāt despair over a common infatuation because, as the saying goes, āthereās plenty of fish in the seaā.
2. Stop worrying about failure
Worrying too much leads to mistakes and can ruin your chances before they even begin. Iāve heard the classic excuse, āwhat if she thinks Iām lameā so many times before. If you donāt play the game, thereās no way to win. Failure is not the end of the world and in most cases, failure teaches us more than success. Talking to women becomes easier with time and the more practice the better. In high school, I was terrified of failure and it prevented me from talking to many women, thereby inhibiting my opportunities for happiness. Eventually, I realized that each failure allowed me to improve and made success taste significantly sweeter. Donāt count yourself out before you even start. As a friend once told me, 1 out of every 10 and 10 out of every 100 are the same percentage, the difference is that the one who committed himself to talking with 100 gained valuable experience the other didnāt. The earlier you learn to cast fear out, the easier it is to meet with the woman of your dreams and avoid dragging on the situation.
3. Donāt be quick on declaring someone āThe Oneā
Iāve heard endless stories about the one, that perfect girl to spend the rest of your life with. Personally, I donāt believe in the concept of the one. I believe in a series of successions that allow you to meet with the ideal woman and be able to convince her to feel the same way, but that doesnāt mean there is only one ideal woman. For young people, the first relationship is usually the most emotionally taxing. They believe it will last forever and when the inevitable breakup occurs, there begins the 3 month depression stage.
4. Donāt fall for your best friend:
Life isnāt a Hallmark film. The odds of being in a relationship with your best friend are difficult. It can happen, Iām not saying itās impossible, but donāt put all your hopes in that basket. Best friends share an intimacy that relationships take time to develop. Some women avoid being in a relationship with their best friends in order to avert the awkward consequences if the relationship doesnāt work out; same applies with coworkers. If you happen to fall for your best friend, act nonchalant. Also, donāt hesitate or fear in making a move. Iāve never heard of two friends whoāve stopped talking to each other because one of them developed feelings for the other.
Being a romantic is a great thing and provides extravagant satisfaction once you find the ideal partner. Itās definitely better than hooking up with strangers every once in while just to kill time. Itās always important to be respectful and a gentleman. However, itās also important not to be a dreamer and take risks in order to succeed. From my personal experience, life never turns out the way you plan it, but the results are usually much more entertaining in the end.