Relationships: From Start to “Finish,” in Makeup Terms
I’m sure most of us have heard about the popular debate online surrounding the girl who tried to explain the World Cup using makeup terminology. While some people found her explanation creative, others argued that it set women back hundreds of years by suggesting that women couldn’t understand a concept as “complicated” as football unless it was explained in a language they were already familiar with: makeup. Now, although I agree that the way she worded her explanation wasn’t exactly right, I also understand the intention behind it. Sometimes, the easiest way to understand something unfamiliar is to compare it to something we already know.
That brings me to the title of this article: Relationships: From Start to “Finish,” in Makeup Terms.
My intention is to take that same concept and turn it into something more informative, relatable, and, hopefully, useful. More specifically, I want to explore how relationships begin, develop, and either continue to flourish or end using the different stages of a makeup routine as a way to understand the process. After all, just as makeup requires different products and techniques to achieve the results you’re looking for, relationships require different levels of understanding, communication, and effort to develop into something truly meaningful.
Let’s be honest: sometimes boys can be difficult to understand. I have a boyfriend of my own, but before finding someone I could connect with and see myself with long term, I spent a long time trying to understand boys and their intentions; figuring out if they wanted a serious relationship, or if they were simply interested in a couple dates. Were they saying things from the heart, or were they saying what they thought I wanted to hear? Sometimes, it felt like I was trying to solve a puzzle without knowing what I was building.
Don’t get me wrong, this article is not about shaming boys, blaming men for every relationship problem, or suggesting that they are incapable of understanding women. In fact, I believe the complete opposite. Usually, the way different people approach relationships has more to do with their upbringing, friends, and the relationships they see around them. We don’t automatically know how to navigate relationships when we reach a certain age. A lot of what we learn comes from observing others, experiencing relationships ourselves, and figuring out what works for us and what doesn’t.
I was fortunate enough to find someone who makes an effort to understand women’s feelings and, while we don’t always agree on everything, he respects my perspectives. However, even he didn’t understand everything from the beginning. Like anyone else, he had things to learn. That is what made me realize how important it is to understand that relationships are not simply about finding the right person. They are also about learning how to understand that special person whose experiences, thoughts, and expectations may be different from your own.
This is especially important when we consider how much social norms influence our expectations. Society often teaches men and women so many different things about dating, emotions, roles and love. Men may feel pressured to hide their feelings and avoid showing their emotions just to put up this tough guy act they’re expected to have. Women, on the other hand, may feel pressured to act frail and in need of a man, or assume responsibility for keeping a relationship together. These expectations are not universal, and they certainly do not describe everyone when it comes to their roles in a relationship, but seeing them so frequently in our society is enough to make some people think this is the way things are supposed to be, and it will end up influencing people’s real life relationships.
And yes, I said “finish” in quotation marks for a reason. When I refer to the finishing stage, I am not necessarily talking about a relationship ending. In makeup, setting spray helps bring everything together and helps a look last. In relationships, the final stage can represent people’s commitment, stability, growth, or, in some cases, realizing it’s better to go separate ways. There is no one ending to every relationship, and not every relationship follows the same timeline.
So, let’s start at the beginning: skin prep.
1. The Primer: Your First Impressions and Getting to Know Each Other
Before applying foundation, or any other makeup product, you need to prep your skin. Primer creates a base for everything that follows. It helps all the products that come after it create cohesion and determines how the rest of the steps are going to go.
The primer stage represents the beginning of a connection. If two people have known each other since childhood, this stage might include years of experiences you may have shared, moments where you started to feel something more, or when you actually started to go out with that person. If you have just met, it might involve that first conversation, the first time you make eye contact, or the moment one of you starts wondering whether this could be going somewhere more.
Although men and women can notice similar things during these first interactions, they may interpret them differently.
From a woman’s perspective, the first impression might come from the way a man speaks, how he treats the people around him, whether he pays attention when she talks, or how he behaves in different situations. Small gestures can make a difference. Does he remember something she mentioned? Is he respectful to others even when he has nothing to gain from it? Does he seem genuinely interested in getting to know her, or does the conversation feel forced?
For some women, these details help determine whether a man is someone they would feel comfortable getting to know better. Physical attraction may be what initially catches their attention, but his behavior can influence whether that attraction develops into something more meaningful.
From a man’s perspective, based on answers from men who were questioned for this article, the first impression might involve different details. Some men may pay attention to a woman’s appearance, personality, confidence, or the way she carries herself. Others may notice how she interacts with other people around her, whether she seems approachable, or whether they share similar interests and sense of humor.
Neither perspective is automatically right or wrong. The important thing is understanding that first impressions are only a starting point. We notice certain things, form initial opinions, and begin deciding whether we want to know someone better. However, those opinions can be incomplete.
After all, a person can appear confident and still be shy when it comes to expressing their feelings. Someone who seems uninterested may simply be nervous, while someone who is naturally flirtatious may not necessarily be looking for a relationship.
This is why the primer stage requires patience. You cannot determine whether a product will work perfectly with your skin after looking at it for two seconds, just as you cannot fully understand a person after one single conversation.
2. The Foundation: Building a Connection
Foundation represents the stage where two people begin getting to know each other past the basics. Conversations become more frequent, and they start wondering if their connection could become something more.
For many women, consistency and simple gestures show genuine interest. Men, however, might hesitate to express their feelings because they fear rejection or ruining the friendship. These differences can create misunderstandings, especially when neither person communicates their true intentions.
Just like foundation needs to be blended properly, a relationship requires effort from both sides. Attraction may bring two people together, but establishing effective communication from the start is key to building a strong connection.
3. The Concealer: Discovering Imperfections
Concealer covers certain areas, representing the discovery of someone’s imperfections and insecurities. But unlike concealer, this is about finding those imperfections and working through them together.
As two people become closer, they begin noticing their differences. One might prefer discussing problems immediately, while the other needs time to process their feelings. These differences often come from how people were raised and how they learned to communicate at home.
Understanding someone does not mean excusing every behavior. Just as concealer cannot change the skin underneath, ignoring problems will not make them disappear. Both people must be willing to acknowledge their flaws and grow together. This is one of the major make-or-break points in a relationship. If you aren’t willing to work through it or just decide to sweep it under the rug, they will eventually resurface later on in your relationship. Much like if you cake on a bunch of patchy dry concealer, you’ll see it throughout the rest of your routine.
4. The Blush and Bronzer: Affection and Fun
Blush adds color, while bronzer adds dimension. In relationships, blush represents the little details that make you fall in love all over again: the hugs, compliments, kisses, among other small gestures. Bronzer, on the other hand, adds warmth and represents the fun things: going out on dates, embracing your inner child when you’re with them, and feeling a sense of comfort with that person.
Inside jokes, thoughtful gestures, and spending quality time together help strengthen a relationship. However, not everyone expresses affection the same way. Some prefer verbal reassurance, while others show love through actions. This is why it’s important that, when you’ve reached this stage, you take time to learn about the details that make you and that specific person happy. It’s like learning if you prefer to look more bronzed and sun-kissed or if you want a softer look.
Learning how your partner expresses and receives affection can prevent misunderstandings further along. A healthy relationship should add happiness to your life without requiring you to lose your sense of individuality.
5.The Eyeshadow: Trust and Vulnerability
Eyeshadow allows for creativity, representing the emotional depth that develops as trust grows.
Opening up about fears and insecurities can be difficult. Some men may have learned to hide their emotions, while some women may feel responsible for managing everyone’s feelings. These expectations can make communication challenging.
Emotional vulnerability takes time, but both partners should be willing to listen and learn. Trust means creating a space where feelings can be expressed without fear of judgment or humiliation. It’s also important to remember that sometimes you just have to trust the process. You won’t always know exactly how a person is or reacts to certain things, just as you can’t always predict how a new eyeshadow look will turn out. Yet, with a little trust, what you maybe didn’t expect to turn out well can become something beautiful.
6. The Mascara: Consistency and Effort
Mascara completes a makeup look, representing the consistency needed to maintain a relationship. Sometimes you don’t realize something is actually good until you see the full picture, just like your makeup doesn’t look complete until you add the mascara.
Romantic gestures are exciting, but basic everyday actions matter just as much. Things as simple as keeping promises, making time for each other, and showing appreciation demonstrate the genuine commitment needed in a serious relationship.
Now, this doesn’t mean you have to devote every single second to this person, but instead knowing that you can make time for that person and also have time for your own responsibilities.
7. The Lipstick: Choosing Each Other
Lipstick brings personality to a makeup look, representing the moment when two people decide they want a committed relationship.
However, attraction alone does not guarantee compatibility. Shared values, mutual respect, and similar expectations also matter.
Choosing someone does not mean expecting perfection from them. It means accepting each other’s differences and deciding that you want to grow together. A relationship should fit both people rather than force them to meet unrealistic expectations.
8. The Setting Spray: Maintaining the Relationship
Setting spray helps a makeup look last longer. In relationships, it represents the effort required to maintain a healthy connection with someone.
Becoming a couple does not mean the work is over. Relationships require communication, patience, and understanding, especially when life changes. Just as makeup may need touch ups even after using setting spray, a relationship requires consistent effort and attention to maintain its strength.
What matters is how both people handle challenges. A good couple should be willing to apologize, resolve disagreements respectfully, and work toward improving the relationship.
9. The Makeup Wipes: Knowing When to Let Go or Growing Further
The way I picture this is in two ways. The first is knowing when something is over or isn’t working for you anymore. The second is keeping that relationship alive, not by removing everything you’ve built, but by continuing to learn about each other and repeating the steps that make a healthy relationship what it is.
Sometimes, people discover they are incompatible or want different things. Although breakups can be difficult, staying together is not always the healthiest choice.
Likewise, some people may want to continue to grow with that person, reliving all of the stages that make the relationship what it is. Having fun and feeling alive with that person should be something that happens all the time for couples in healthy relationships. This step could symbolize low moments, but also the willingness to rebuild everything together.
Removing your makeup does mean the end for some people, but others may see it as an opportunity to continue to flourish with the person they love.
Every Relationship Has Its Own Routine
Relationships are complicated, maybe even the most complicated thing we could have in our lives, and there is no perfect formula for finding love. Just as everyone has a different makeup routine, everyone approaches their own relationships differently.
Although social expectations can influence how men and women communicate and view different matters, personalities are just as important. We should look beyond stereotypes and make an effort to understand one another.
Women should not have to constantly decode men’s actions, just as men should not be expected to automatically understand every woman’s feelings, because no one is the same as the other. Both deserve to build a relationship on communication, respect, and mutual effort.
My goal is not to provide a perfect guide for everyone to find love, but to encourage people to approach relationships with more understanding and have fewer assumptions when dating.
Whether you are applying your primer or reaching for your makeup wipes, remember that there is no need to rush the process. Take your time to perfect your own routine and find out what works best for you.
After all, the goal is not simply to find someone who completes your routine. It is to find someone who allows you to feel like yourself every step of the way.