Life in the Eyes of an Irritable Woman

Ew. Why are you here? Uh, I mean, hey.

If you’re anything like me, I would say you’re a total closeted prick. Like yeah, you like having friends and people around to occasionally laugh with, but you don’t enjoy the whole mushy-wooshy personalities. Like, really dude, another hug? It’s kinda hot already, but it’s too late for me to say anything because you’re already too close, and I don’t want to be mean, so let the awkward one-sided hug begin. One arm slightly touches your elbow while the other one just hangs there waiting to be free. Why do you do this to me?

Oh, and what about laughing? I mean, obviously I enjoy laughing, and it’s okay if people laugh, but there’s always that one person that laughs like a seal. Like, hey, *snaps finger* Goofy, please shut up, you’re giving me a headache, and besides, it wasn’t even that funny.

Same goes to those people who just love to scream at their phone when they’re on a phone call. Okay dude, I CAN HEAR YOU, and so can my great-grandma all the way over in heaven. Sorry, nana.

Oh, don’t even get me started on babies. Okay, cute, you have a baby, adorable! Look at those eyes and cheeks, I could just eat them up! Okay, never mind, it has boogers. Oh, oh, no, now it’s screaming. TURN IT OFF. How do you make it stop?! Feed the thing, oh wait no, it stinks, take this pooped demon away from me now or you will never see IT again.

What about those people that make noise when they eat? Have you ever seen an ASMR video? Yeah, it’s the opposite.

OH. What’s up with people who double text you if you haven’t answered. Like you get the occasional “???” text if you’re taking too long. Like, yeez, I was showering, give me a dang minute. Ah, and when you haven’t responded to their text, they snap, DM, and even email you?! Really? Have some dignity. Now I’m not even going to open your several consecutive messages even though the notification bothers me so much.

Ha, and when you’re in someplace crowded, like a mall, a school hall, or something like that, and the person in front of you walks slower than a turtle with back pain. Like, why are you so slow? Can’t you see I’m trying to get there on time even though I’m already late?

Okay, I’m done. My point here is that people will always, ALWAYS do things that will annoy us, but life has a way to make irrelevant and annoying things disappear once something good happens. We have to stop for a second and acknowledge the fact that annoying things happen for a reason, and that is to show us to appreciate things and people that don’t annoy us. Am I making any sense? Or should I stop? Okay, I’m going to stop. Bye.