Millions of people are or have experienced bullying or harassment all over the world, but what is the difference when this situation is woman vs. woman? There is nothing new about the issue that women have an ongoing competition among themselves. However, society labels who does or does not meet its standards and often women use this to judge one another to gain status, attention, or power. I don’t want to fall into the voidless pits of clichés about this topic, but rather try to deal with the issue. Many would argue that this is a matter of competition for a male partner, but it goes way beyond that; the media seems to sell the idea that we should be constantly competing for something.
I definitely understand that we should have some healthy competition to help each other be better, but this competition that women experience is rather unhealthy. From a very young age, girls receive negative comments from their female classmates, which only get worse and more “sophisticated” or subtle over the years. Research shows that girls are much more likely to use indirect or relational aggression than boys (Source). Because the type of relationships between girls is emotionally open and more intimate, some girls use this emotional advantage to make their bullying more harmful and humiliating. Some women feel the need to tear each other down in order to build themselves up and survive the struggles thrown at us by society.
Media sells us ideals of who and how women should be, but more than we care to admit we are all blinded to some extent by these ideals. Where the most important quality a woman can have isn’t intelligence, kindness, nor a great personality, but whether or not she is considered to be beautiful. While we are all aware of the perks of beautiful people, women are held to a completely different standard than men in respect to this topic. Women are judged on their appearance in every situation; workplace, social gatherings, social media pictures, etc. Women are bombarded with images on social media, selling the idea that if you don’t look like the woman in this magazine or show you are not a real woman, there is something wrong with you and you must fix it now. This only creates a higher tendency to depression, self esteem issues, eating disorders, and bullying.
One of the issues with the topic presented in this article is the fact that we all should be fighting for the same cause. Women encounter such disadvantages already; pay gap, rape culture, domestic violence, maternity leave, reproductive rights, just to name a few. While there has been an improvement, we can’t advance further into equality if we stand against each other. We can’t make a difference on how the world perceives us if we don’t improve the way we see ourselves and one another.
While we all go through some very challenging experiences as human beings, as women, we go through much more. We can all say we have been teared down by a female classmate, co-worker, or even a friend. Sadly we have been raised in a very competitive, everyone-for-themselves environment. It is usual for some to enjoy tearing others down, but while it is easy to judge and hate on someone because one feels threatened by this person, it doesn’t mean we should.
We might feel that certain women are prettier, skinnier, or smarter; it is normal to have insecurities. Yet, we should all learn from one another and help each other out because, in the end, we are all in this together. Like, you know how to contour? Great, maybe you can teach me and I can help you with your English essay! And maybe you might feel less capable or less beautiful than other women, but remember they are not you! We all bring something new and exciting to the table; let’s share it with the world. And with so many things we should stand for, let’s not stand against each other, but together. And always remember, you are not a queen if your throne is made out of the girls you stepped on to get to the top.