If you’re one of the lucky ones and you meet someone in the real world— or “organically” as they say— and you follow each other on social media, you will see you share mutuals with this person. Of course, our human nature (or trust issues) makes it so we don’t openly speak about someone until things get serious, just in case things don’t work out. This way, no one will have expectations about whether or not the relationship will last.
Overall, it’s a time-saver for people because you don’t have to explain what happened or re-live any memories. Of course, one shouldn’t have such negative expectations from the start, but it’s a mindset that serves as self-protection in case it goes wrong. Still, the more you get to know this person, the more people in your life will find out about them. After all, this is the beautiful experience of meeting someone new. It brings hope and makes you feel giddy and excited—that’s what we call the honeymoon phase.
After a few weeks of going out, you start talking about them to your friends— friends who don’t know anything about them because they’re a new person in your life. To your friends, this person seems like a wonderful romantic partner who is super into you. But buckle up, because the moment you say, “I met someone,” you know the universe is about to test this “connection” you’ve started. And by test, I mean you’re going to get inevitably ghosted. After briefly wondering what went wrong, you call your friends to go out and catch up. As you’re sharing life updates, you mention what happened. You do the face reveal, and that is when your friends’ eyes widen and they say, “Oh no, please not this person.”
This is exactly why gossiping must be kept alive. Once they say, “Please don’t tell me it’s who I think it is,” you immediately feel better about being ghosted because you’re about to hear real-life horror stories about this person. Now, I’m not saying rumors are acceptable or that anyone should harm another’s character for no reason, but if you start noticing a pattern, then you have to listen. Because ladies, a person making you feel like you can trust them to leave you confused has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their lack of empathy and accountability.
So yes, gossiping is not the best way to spend our lives, but in that moment when all you need is reassurance that you’re not a bad person, it can save you time and help you move on faster by showing you what this person is truly like. It was already destined to not work out on their part, right? Instead of being hard on yourself, you can take pride in your heart being so big that you would never do that to someone else.
To anyone reading this who has gone through something similar: don’t stop being yourself just because someone couldn’t find happiness or fulfillment on their own. When the right person comes along, you will never doubt how they feel.