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There’s nothing physically different about you, just the way you feel. It’s difficult to be comfortable in your own skin. The great, big wall of China is nothing compared to the one surrounding your heart. There’s nothing wrong with you so please stop blaming yourself. You are more than enough. You don’t need to keep comparing yourself to others. Don’t keep track of who got over the other person first. There aren’t any winners or losers because this is not a competition. You need to be patient with yourself. If you’re tired of looking at yourself and seeing the same person, take control.

You’re wondering why it fell apart. You need to stop trying to figure out where it all went wrong. Overthinking how you’re never going to find someone like them. Maybe it’s a good thing, but it takes time to see why. Good luck finding out why they were not the one. Don’t waste time and energy on this; these are your golden years and not a single moment should be wasted. It’s not about forgetting, it’s about rediscovering yourself. Build yourself up, meet new people, travel, and make a name for yourself. Go ahead and do things you’d never thought you’d do. The world doesn’t need more love stories. It needs adventures of people who never let anyone drag them down: People that walked through hell and back and survived; stories about how all the odds were against them but came out stronger than ever.

A piece of you might feel like it’s missing, but the truth is you’re still breathing. It’s nothing but a plot twist in life. Avoid listening to Adele, Sam Smith and The Script. You don’t need to torture yourself. Try your best to keep your mind occupied. Whatever you do, DO NOT send that text message saying you miss them or with anything you left unsaid. Trust me, you’ll regret it in the morning. Been there, done that and I hated myself for it.

You are tired of the same cliché advice. People telling you to find yourself. But it is true. Sometimes, within a relationship you lose sight of who you are. That will always be one of my biggest fears. For a while, I wasn’t in a good place. My world revolved around my ex. I would change everything about me just to be in the same orbit as him. I kept forcing myself into being someone I was not. I tried so hard to be part of someone else’s world that I forgot about my own. I had never felt so uncomfortable with myself. Truth is, I wasn’t doing it to try new things, but to be liked and accepted, which was completely stupid, now that I think about it. I felt so far away from the person I truly am just to get his attention. Constantly seeking for approval and feeling I was never enough. I learned that when you’re with the right person you don’t need to do any of that. The moment I had to stop being myself was when I should have run away. No person is ever worth your time if it means not being yourself. I will never allow myself to feel like there’s something wrong with me.

In order to actually be happy with anything, you need to be happy with yourself. Know what makes you unique and own it. You don’t need a spotlight: your light is bright enough.  Insecurities will come and go all the time. But what’s most important is how you see yourself. If you’ve made it through so much bad, then hell, you must be amazing. You won’t be measured if you’re good enough on someone else’s scale but your own. The only way of truly going through this is by getting to know yourself: Push yourself, take risks, and take time to simply love yourself. Be the one to burn bridges just to find a new path.

The reason why I write this is because it’s exactly what I did. I discovered new things about myself. I also picked up different things I used to do back then. I got a plane ticket and left. Pushed myself out of the comfort zone. I dedicated so much time to myself that suddenly there was no room for anyone else. To which I don’t regret, because now I have a clearer idea to what I want to do, where I want to go and who I choose to be. You should be able to look back and say: I’ve lived. Despite of all the things that may drag you down. Society insinuates that in order to be happy you need a significant other. Truth is, you don’t. There is so much of the world you have yet to experience. Don’t be afraid, simply walk away and don’t look back.

Years from now, you’ll look back and laugh. For now, cry and scream as much as you want. But remember, you’re not the first or the last. Heartbreak is simply part of growing as a person. All that’s left for you to do is try to move on a little each day. Know that time will be your ally. You are strong, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Believe me, a total stranger, that you will get through this.

 Photo Credits: Angélica Avilés & Bianca Soto

 

Currently an undergraduate at UPRM, english major. My life is an open book so I enjoy allowing others to read me. It's my way of telling a stranger that even if they don't know me, they can relate to what is ever going on in their lives. I am one part anxiety, half uncertainty and the other half curiosity. I laugh at almost everything, obsessed with pineapples and in love with photography. I am all about simplicity and I only function with caffeine.
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